A Jerry Springer moment

Posted on March 9, 2016 by Badge415

Photo courtesy of nytix.com

On Monday, I was dispatched to follow up an officer who had a person stopped on the freeway offramp. When I got there, the officer told me to stand by with the suspect while he called her parole agent.

He went to use the phone while I engaged her in small talk. Some of the best stories at work have come from small talk with people. Plus, it’s better to talk than just staring at each other.

She was homeless and in her late twenties. She had tattoos on her face and neck. She also had bad teeth and was wearing dirty clothes. She was super nice and probably had some mental issues. She told me she and her mother were drug addicts and she hadn’t seen her in about a year.

“Why are you on parole?” I asked.

“DUI,” she replied.

“Did you crash and hurt someone?”

“Yes. It was DUI with GBI, but I wasn’t driving.” She meant great bodily injury.

“How much time did you get?”

“Six years.”

“What happened?”

“I was sitting in the front passenger seat and my boyfriend was driving when my mom started choking me from the backseat. After she stopped choking me I hit my boyfriend. That’s when he crashed.”

“Wait a minute. Why was your mom choking you?”

“She was mad at me.”

“Why did you hit your boyfriend?”

“I don’t know. I just hit him.”

“Why didn’t you hit your mom for choking you?”

She gave me a serious look as she said, “It was my mom.”

I guess in the drug addict world, mom still holds a certain level of respect even when she’s trying to choke you out from the backseat.

After hearing that story a friend said, “Wow. Are they looking for the Jerry Springer set?”

You just can’t make this stuff up….

“It’s Deja Vu all over again”

Posted on March 2, 2016 by Badge415

A few years ago I handled a fatal traffic collision where a pedestrian was struck by a car. A few days after the collision, flowers appeared on the curb near where the body was in the street. Since then, flowers have always been there.

A few months ago I responded to the same location for a major injury collision. Ironically, the crash involved a pedestrian who was struck by a car.

When I arrived, I saw a vehicle with front end damage stopped along the north curb. The pedestrian had already been transported to the hospital.

The details of the crash were eerily similar to the fatal collision. Everything from direction of travel to location were the same. Even the bodies ended up in the same general location.

Then it got weird when I saw where the car was. It was almost parked in front of the flower memorial from the fatal collision. If the driver only knew where he parked.

Yogi Berra once said, “It’s deja vu all over again.” That was the best way to describe this location.

“You’re confusing all of us”

Posted on March 1, 2016 by Badge415

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The other day I was sitting at a conference table for a deposition related to a traffic collision I handled a year ago. The defense attorney was nice and professional. He was well prepared and only took about 15 minutes to question me about the collision.

At this pace I was going to be out of there in record time.

Next came the plaintiff’s attorney. Her client was clearly at fault and I wondered what she could ask. What a waste of time for everyone involved.

Any hope of a quick getaway flew out the window in the first 5 minutes. It was like night and day between the two lawyers. At times her questions were awkward and silly. She just wasn’t as prepared as the defense attorney was.

Then her phone rang at volume 10 and startled everyone. The ring was so loud dead people could’ve been resurrected from their graves. After a few more minutes of questions she asked to take a break so she could make a call. Really? In the middle of the depo?

At one point, the plaintiff’s attorney asked a question that left me wondering what the heck she was talking about.

Before I could answer, the defense attorney said, “You’re confusing all of us.” I nodded my head and almost started laughing.

After we went off the record I couldn’t resist and asked the plaintiff’s attorney, “Why are you suing him? Your client did everything wrong.” This made the defense attorney laugh, which was funny in itself.

She replied that her client told her a different version of how the collision happened and she believed him.

I said, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but your client isn’t telling you the whole story.”

A happy crash customer

Posted on March 1, 2016 by Badge415

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On Friday night I was on a crash where half of the intersection was closed because of fluid and debris and disabled cars.

There was a male and female from one of the vehicles standing on the corner. They were in their late teens and had a serious look on their faces. While I was talking with them I got the feeling they were a little stressed, so I decided to lighten the mood up as I asked, “Do you want to hear a funny story?”

With a look of relief the female said, “Yes.”

I then told them about a guy I stopped earlier in the night for running a red light. After hearing the story the female laughed, The male seemed to have a lot on his mind and didn’t say anything. Oh well, at least I tried.

A little while later, I was standing across the street from the teens when a car drove up and parked. A woman got out and said, “Those are my kids,” as she pointed to them. She crossed the street and went to hug them.

A few minutes later they came back as they headed toward mom’s car. As they walked by the daughter waved and said, “Thanks for making us laugh.”

The mom didn’t understand and looked at both of us. That’s when I told her the story. When I was done, she also laughed.

Before leaving the mom said, “I drove by the intersection a few minutes ago and saw the police cars.”

“Oh yeah?” I said.

“I got to 7-Eleven and my phone rang. It was my daughter and she told me they were in an accident. I didn’t realize it was them when I drove by.”

“Wow. What are the chances of that happening?” I said.

The woman then smiled and said, “Thanks for entertaining them.” She walked away a happy customer.

It’s always a good thing when someone can smile and say thank you when they walk away from a crash. It’s also a good thing when they get your jokes.

Where did the time go?

Posted on February 23, 2016 by Badge415

February 22, 1995 seems so long ago, but it really was just a blink of the eye. That’s the day “The Badge” was pinned onto my chest for the first time. It’s hard to believe 21 years have passed since that day. Where did the time go? And where did my hair go?

We started the academy on Augest 29, 1994. From that moment on we called cadence as a class anytime we marched. Every week we counted off how much time we had left as part of that cadence. In the first week we marched to, “26 weeks and we’ll be through. I’ll be glad, how about you?”

Then February 21st, 1995 came and we had one more day left. The cadence was the same as every day, but that day was the loudest ever as we said, “Hey Tac Staff, look out your window. The senior class is marching by. We are the best, our heads held high. We are the 1-1-9. We are the best you’ll find.”

The best part came when we said, “One more day and we’ll be through. I’ll be glad, how about you?” It was the loudest we had ever yelled while marching during the entire 26 week academy.

I remember the chills going through my body as my eyes watered up at hearing that. Our goal was finally reached and we had one day left. We were going to be police officers tomorrow.

The next night, Orange County Sheriff’s class 119 marched into an auditorium in Fullerton, CA as proud academy graduates. When my name was called, I went up the steps onto the stage as my parents came up from the other side.

We walked toward each other and met in the middle. With my mom at his side, my dad pinned Badge415 on my chest. They gave me a big hug and I walked off the stage a real police officer.

When all of the badges were presented we were called to attention by our class sergeant as he yelled with a smile, “For the final time! Class 119 Dismissed!”

The auditorium echoed as we yelled out our class motto, “Putting it on the line, class 1-1-9” for the final time as we threw our hats into the air.

It seems like yesterday.

The day I saved Teddy (not really)

Posted on February 17, 2016 by Badge415

Not the actual Teddy bear. This guy was from another crash.

On Valentine’s Day weekend, I responded to an injury traffic collision where a guy and his girlfriend slammed into a parked car after he claimed a dog ran out in front of him. He injured his foot and refused medical aid, but his girlfriend was transported to the hospital by ambulance.

He wasn’t a particularly nice guy , but of course, that changed when he needed something. After the car was up on the flatbed tow truck the driver asked, “Can I get my backpack from the car?”

I looked at the tow truck driver and asked, “Can you get his backpack for him.”

The tow driver climbed up onto the flatbed truck and opened the car door. He reached inside and grabbed a backpack. I then handed it to the driver. As I turned to walk away the driver said, “Can you get the teddy bear too?”

With a raised eyebrow I asked, “A teddy bear?”

“Yeah.”

With a funny look on my face I turned toward the tow driver and asked, “Can you get his teddy bear?”

The tow truck guy returned the funny look and dug into the car to retrieve Teddy which he handed to me. Once Teddy was safe I handed it to the driver, who said, “And the flowers too?”

“The flowers?” The driver nodded at me. This guy was getting needy.

I turned toward the tow guy one more time and asked him to get the flowers also. He gave me the same funny look and went back inside the car.

It’s not every day someone asks for a teddy bear from a crashed car, but it was Valentine’s weekend after all. I’m sure there were lots of cars driving around with teddy bears and flowers that night. The only difference was this particular teddy bear got the ride of his life.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

“He ran me over!”

Posted on February 17, 2016 by Badge415

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Just when I thought I’d seen it all.

The other night I went to a crash involving a pedestrian and a vehicle, which normally isn’t that big of a deal, except this one had a twist.

When I got to the call, the victim was being put inside the ambulance. I jumped inside and asked, “What happened?”

The man, who was homeless, was about 40 years old. He had an unkempt looking beard and smelled like he hadn’t had a bath in weeks. He also smelled like he’d been drinking beer all day long.

He told me about lying down in the parking lot and putting his head on the curb like it was a concrete pillow.

There was car parked parallel to the curb just south of where he was resting. A guy got into the driver seat and started the engine. At this point, it would’ve been a good idea to move, but he didn’t.

That’s when he said, “He ran me over!”

Now, it’s not every day you hear someone say that, so I tried to keep a straight face as I asked, “Where did the car run you over at?”

“Look at my leg. It doesn’t look like the other one.”

He was wearing pants but one leg was definitely bigger than the other. The victim said, “The guy was drinking.”

“How do you know?”

“We’re street people. We know these things.”

You just can’t make this stuff up.

The way a pursuit is supposed to sound

Posted on February 16, 2016 by Badge415

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What does the DJ of a classical music station sound like? Cool, calm, controlled and soothing are just a few things that come to mind.

Now, picture the voice on the radio of some cops during a pursuit……If you’re a cop, you know what I’m talking about. If you’re not, then you have to take my word on this one. The two don’t sound the same.

The other night I heard the best radio traffic ever in a pursuit. My friend Sean came on the radio and broadcasted every turn with the calmness of a classical music radio station DJ. His voice was so relaxed he sounded bored. He was even calm when he requested paramedics after the motorcycle crashed into a parked car.

I told him it seemed like this was his 500th pursuit. Another officer told Sean, ‘It was like you were watching the pursuit on TV and you were calling it from your couch.’

That was the best way to describe it.

We never pat our partners on the back when they do a good job. I’m here to say it. Good job Sean.

A great one-liner

Posted on February 13, 2016 by Badge415

Courtesy of Flickr

My friend Matt is the master of the quick-witted one-liner. In fact, if you’re not paying attention, he can zap you and walk away before you even know what hit you.

Yesterday he went to a crash where a psychic’s building was struck.

He walked up to the psychic and said, “I know you already know my name, but can I get yours?”

I’m still laughing…………

She was dumb

Posted on February 12, 2016 by Badge415

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Tonight, this woman had been stopped on a side street and wanted to make a left turn onto a busy street with a 40 mph speed limit. She started to turn and then stopped in the middle of the intersection when she saw cars coming from one direction. That’s when she got hit by a car coming from the opposite direction.

After I was done with the interviews she asked me who was at fault. I told her she had caused the accident by failing to yield to the other vehicle. Her face got serious as she clenched her jaw and squinted her eyes. Oh boy.

She said, “He saw me. He should’ve stopped.”

I pointed out that she was the one who got in the way when she pulled out in front of the car.I tried explaining it to her, but she didn’t want to hear it. All she could say was, “He should’ve been driving defensively.”

I almost laughed when I heard that. I surely would’ve choked if I had been drinking something at that moment.

Was this woman for real? I knew this was probably the dumbest thing I had heard all week. In fact, I think my IQ score dropped a few points just from hearing that.

At this point, all she wanted to do was argue. She had already made up her mind and there was nothing I could do to change it. That’s when I told her we were done talking about it.

The woman turned toward her damaged and uninsured vehicle as she walked away like a pouting child. She looked at her male passenger and said, “I don’t know why I’m a citizen of this country.”

Really? No one is keeping you here……

Now that was really the dumbest thing I had heard all week. I didn’t think it was possible she could top her previous comment, but she did.

I turned toward my friend Miguel and said, “She’s definitely going to make the blog.”