What planet are you from?


As a cop, you’re used to people lying to you. It’s part of the job. Sometimes it’s like a chess match where you have to be one step ahead of the lie. Other times, people are just plain stupid and say the dumbest things imaginable.

On Saturday night,  a driver told me he was stopped for a red light when he realized he was in the wrong lane. Instead of going straight,  he wanted to be in the left turn lane. He reversed without looking and crashed into the car behind him.

The other driver told me she was stopped at the red light when the car in front of her backed up and crashed into her.

It was nice and easy with no drama except for a DUI investigation.

During the investigation one of the passengers from the offending car told me, “She rear ended us.”

What planet was she from?

She went on to say, “I saw the gear and it was in drive. We were stopped and she rear ended us.”

Was she from plant “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire?”

I shouldn’t have engaged her, but I did. I told her that both drivers confirmed how the collision occurred and she wasn’t telling the truth. Of course, she told tell me her silliness again, which made her nose grow like Pinocchio’s.

What a waste of time.  

Nothing annoys me more than hearing someone trying to influence the collision investigation with a lie. To me, this isn’t a normal lie. It’s much bigger than that.

A person’s driving record and insurance rates are at stake here. A lie like that could cost someone a lot of money over the next couple of years, or more if they are sued.

Next time how about being from plant STFU.

Number two?


On Friday night, I met the victims of a hit and run crash in a parking lot after they chased the suspect and lost him. When I got there, I jumped into the ambulance so I could speak to the driver.

After I was done speaking to her, the ambulance left for the hospital. I next went up to her mother, who was a passenger in the car at the time. I got her information and then asked if she was injured.

The woman told me her back and chest hurt. She then added, “And my stomach doesn’t feel good.”

“Anything else hurt?”

“I feel like going diarrhea.”

I think we just hit TMI status with that one.  All I could do was shake my head as I replied, “Well, I can’t help you with that.”

You just never know what people will say next.