“Eddie Murphy Raw” came out in 1987. It was a stand up comedy video that is still hilarious almost 30 years later. The other night, I was on a call when I was reminded about a joke Eddie Murphy told on that video.
The joke was about a woman, who caught her man leaving another woman’s house. She confronted him and he replied, “Wasn’t me.” She accused him a few more times and his only response was, “Wasn’t me.”
Even though he was caught red handed he never admitted it. Now, jump in a black and white police car and you’ll meet plenty of people like that.
When I arrived on the call, an officer asked, “Do you have a Bluecheck?” A Bluecheck is a handy bit of technology that checks fingerprints though my work laptop. If the person’s fingerprints are in the system the computer will give you a hit in less than a minute.
“Yes,” I replied as I went to my car to get it.
I walked up to the suspect and asked, “What’s your name?”
“John Smith.” (I changed his name)
“Have you ever used a different name before?”
“No,” he replied.
I pulled out my Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire (L.L.P.O.F.) detector and put his right and left index fingers on it. The prints were sent to my computer via Bluetooth and a minute later John Smith’s picture popped up on my screen with a different name and date of birth.
I love it when that happens.
The picture and info meant he was booked at the department before. There was also a Department of Justice hit on his name. I asked the suspect again if he ever used a different name before. “No,” he answered.
I asked, “Who is Jim Thompson?”
“I don’t know.”
I took my computer over to him and showed him the picture. John/Jim looked at his picture on my computer and said he didn’t know who that was. As I walked away he said, “I have no idea who that guy is.”
At that point, I pictured Eddie Murphy saying, “Wasn’t me.”
Yeah, it was you. Your fingerprints said so. You can’t make this stuff up.