Number one or number two?


It was dusk one summer evening when I saw a Starbucks employee franticly waving his arms at my patrol car. I pulled into the parking lot and stopped as the Barista hurried to my window and said, “A customer told me he went into the bathroom and saw a woman sitting on the floor with bottles all around her. I think she’s on drugs.”

“How long has she been in there?”

“I’m not sure. Can you help us out?”

From the way he described it, I figured this was a transient, who locked herself in the restroom with all her worldly possessions. This was not an unusual call, so I assumed the Starbucks guy was legit.

I walked up to the restroom door and knocked. A female voice from behind the door said, “Yes?”

“Police. Starbucks wants you to leave the property,”

“I’m on the toilet,” replied the voice.

“Number one or number two?”

With some hesitation, the woman answered, “Number two.”

“Okay. Go ahead and hurry up because Starbucks wants you to leave.”

About a minute later the toilet flushed and there was the sound of running water from the sink. The door unlocked and the woman opened it slowly.

I expected to see a transient and a mess all over the bathroom floor, but I was surprised to see a normal looking woman come out with a confused look on her face. I looked over at the Starbucks guy with a “WTF” look on my face.

She needed an explanation, so I told her about the trespassing call for service and being flagged down by the employee. She was still confused as she said, “I was waiting for a ride and had to use the bathroom.”

You can’t make this stuff up.

Could it be any closer?


Starbucks and Subway in the background

On Friday night, I drove to my favorite Starbucks to type reports and grab a drink. I was even feeling adventurous and got a chicken and artichoke panini.

I ate my sandwich and had my drink as I typed at the same time. My fingers were hitting the laptop keys with the effortlessness of a pianist playing Rhapsody in Blue.

Thats when it all came to an end when another injury crash went out down the street. The location of the call was maybe 150 yards away. At least it was close. It’s the little things, right?

I gathered all of my paperwork, got my drink and walked out to my car. I pulled out of the parking lot and saw that the crash was much closer than 150 yards. It was more like 100 feet away. It actually took me longer to get my stuff and walk out to my car than it did to drive there.

I parked my car in the middle of the street with my overhead lights on and called for a tow truck. I interviewed the drivers and wrapped it up pretty fast. After the tow truck was done cleaning up I went back to my Starbucks staging area. The Barista said, “You’re back already?”

“Yes, and I’ll take another black tea.”

Coffee with a friend

imageLast Saturday night I finished my regular shift and then worked overtime for a half marathon that was being held in our city. The briefing for the event was at 3:30AM.

During the briefing I sat with the other officers, volunteers and police explorers who were working the event also. As I sat there, an overwhelming urge to yawn came over me. I tried to hold it back, but there was no fighting it. Then another yawn came. It was like waves crashing on the beach with one coming after the other.

Next came the urge to rub my eyes. It was like I had pajamas on and someone was reading a Curious Geogre bedtime story to me. I took my glasses off and rubbed my eyes. Boy, this was going to be a long night.

After briefing, I drove to Starbucks because I was craving a cup of coffee. I stood in line, hoping the next few hours would go by fast. My bed seemed like a much better idea at the moment. I glanced behind me and there was my friend Rich standing behind a group of people. He was working the event also, but in another capacity. We had talked earlier, but I didn’t expect to see him after briefing.

Rich was my first parter and best man at my wedding. I got my cup and we instantly started laughing about random stuff as we stood inside of Starbucks. It was as if  a light switch was flicked on inside of me. I was wide awake now and ready for the next few hours of overtime.

He was exactly what I needed at 4AM when I was half asleep. There’s nothing like a cup of coffee with an old friend to make things better.