Coffee with a friend

Posted on January 21, 2016 by Badge415

Last Saturday night I finished my regular shift and then worked overtime for a half marathon that was being held in our city. The briefing for the event was at 3:30AM.

During the briefing I sat with the other officers, volunteers and police explorers who were working the event also. As I sat there, an overwhelming urge to yawn came over me. I tried to hold it back, but there was no fighting it. Then another yawn came. It was like waves crashing on the beach with one coming after the other.

Next came the urge to rub my eyes. It was like I had pajamas on and someone was reading a Curious Geogre bedtime story to me. I took my glasses off and rubbed my eyes. Boy, this was going to be a long night.

After briefing, I drove to Starbucks because I was craving a cup of coffee. I stood in line, hoping the next few hours would go by fast. My bed seemed like a much better idea at the moment. I glanced behind me and there was my friend Rich standing behind a group of people. He was working the event also, but in another capacity. We had talked earlier, but I didn’t expect to see him after briefing.

Rich was my first parter and best man at my wedding. I got my cup and we instantly started laughing about random stuff as we stood inside of Starbucks. It was as if a light switch was flicked on inside of me. I was wide awake now and ready for the next few hours of overtime.

He was exactly what I needed at 4AM when I was half asleep. There’s nothing like a cup of coffee with an old friend to make things better.

Can I call you Frank?

Posted on January 20, 2016 by Badge415

Photo courtesy of Pinterest

One of the funniest things to do at work is to say random things while on calls just for the heck of it. Most of the time it’s just something that pops into my head and I go with it.

A few years ago, I responded to a hit and run collision where a parked vehicle was struck by a car that rolled over. The call information indicated the suspect ran away, but was caught one street north of the collision scene. When I got there, I saw the driver siting on the curb with other officers, who were standing by.

The driver was about 30 years old and was barefoot. I was impressed he was able to run that far with no shoes after climbing out of an overturned car. He was obviously really motivated to get away. His feet were black and filthy from his sprint to freedom. It was going to take a month to get those little piggies clean.

I walked up to him and said, “Hi. You look like the guy who sits on the wall from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.”

He looked down at his feet and started laughing because he knew which guy I was talking about. At least he had been to Disneyland land to understand my joke. That’s when I knew I could do the name game with him.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“Bill,” he replied.

With a straight face I asked, “Do you mind if I call you Frank?”

The man, who was DUI, paused for a moment and then smiled as he raised his arms in the air and said, “You can call me anything you want.”

“OK Frank. Tell me what happened.”

Frank went on to tell me how the crash happened and was eventually arrested for DUI. He took everything in stride and was as nice as could be about the entire thing.

You just never know what kind of reaction you’re going to get when you ask to call someone by their wrong name. The answer is sometimes priceless.

Did you blow on me?

Posted on January 18, 2016 by Badge415

On Saturday night, I responded to a traffic collision where a vehicle collided into a wall. When I arrived, I saw a car on the side of the road next to a block wall that was painted gray. There were tire marks along the wall, which showed the car had bounced up against it a couple of times.

The driver, who we’ll call Jim, was in his 40s and was standing next to his wife. I walked up to him and asked, “What happened?”

The man said, “I dropped my cigarette and hit the wall.”

With a smile I said, “You know they say cigarette smoking can be hazardous to your health.” At first he didn’t say anything, but then managed a nervous laugh. I said, “Thanks for laughing at my jokes.Where’s the cigarette?”

“I have no idea.”

My quick-witted partner said, “I bet you never saw that on the Surgeon General’s warning label before.” Jim didn’t get the joke, but I laughed because I get Matt’s humor.

While I was talking with Jim, I noticed a strange odor on his breath, so I asked him, “How many beers did you drink tonight?”

“None.”

I said, “I smell something on your breath.”

His wife, who was standing to my right, suddenly blew air out of her mouth at me like I was a birthday candle.

With a scowl on my face, I turned toward the woman and asked, “Did you just blow air at me?”

“Yes,” she replied. After she said that I wondered if she was wacky?

I turned away from her as I looked at Jim. I pointed to a light pole as I said, “Let go stand over there so your wife doesn’t blow on me again.” He and I then walked away. After we were done talking I went back to my car.

A few minutes later Jim said, “I found the cigarette.”

I looked over and saw Jim pointing into the car with a smile. I walked over and saw a cigarette with a burnt end on the seat. There was also a round hole in the seat that was burned.

The woman looked at Jim as she said, “This is my car and he’s not supposed to smoke in there.”

I couldn’t resist as I said, “He burned a hole in your seat too.”

She put her hands on her hips and gave Jim a look like she wished he had hit the light pole too.

Too much information (T.M.I.)

Posted on January 17, 2016 by Badge415

_DSC4559-2 I love the things that come out of people’s mouths at traffic collisions. It’s like they stepped into a world where the rules of privacy and too much information don’t exist.

On Friday night, I was at an injury collision at 2AM, involving a woman who had been drinking. During the interview, I asked her where she was coming from. The driver replied, “From my AA meeting.”

That in itself was funny. How could it get any better than that? Well, she didn’t disappoint. A few minutes later, the firefighter asked the woman if she was sick or injured. In a very loud voice she said, “I have a yeast infection.”

I almost burst out laughing at that, but I held it in. Her husband was standing next to us when she said that and stepped forward as he looked at her. The husband loudly said, “T.M.I! T.M.I!

Now I really had to hold it in as I asked the husband to walk away so I could get some information from him. While we spoke, I did everything I could to not smile. I even had to turn away from him. At one point I gave up and told him, “That was funny.”

It’s not every day a DUI driver with a yeast infection crashes while coming from an alcoholic anonymous meeting. It was like a perfect storm of twisted humor and mishaps.

You never know what’s going to happen next in this wacky world called police work.

It’s his world we live in

Posted on January 15, 2016 by Badge415

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A few weeks ago I was driving down the street when I came upon a car that was blocking the right lane with no lights on. It was a dark colored car and definitely a traffic hazard since it didn’t have any lights on. It was also parked on a curved portion of the road, which was not a good place for any car. It was a good thing I was paying attention or I could’ve hit the car.

I slowed to a stop and activated my light bar. I walked up and saw a man in his 20s, sitting in the driver seat with the engine off. His head was turned to the right and he didn’t see me until I shined my light into the car. After the light came on, he turned his head and looked at me with an annoyed look on his face like I was bothering him.

“Can you lower your window?” I asked. He nodded and put the key in the ignition. After he lowered the window I asked, “Did your car break down?”

He pointed to the woman in the passenger seat and said, “We’re having an argument.”

With a look of disbelief I said, “You’re blocking a lane with your lights off. Why are you arguing here?”

“She got out of the car when I stopped.”

I pointed to the street and said, “You just can’t block a lane and turn your lights off. Plus, the sign says No Stopping Anytime.”

“I had to pick her up,” he replied.

After I spoke with him I could tell he was more concerned with his personal life than the safety of all the cars around him. Apparently, common sense wasn’t his strong point either. I walked back to my car and wrote him a ticket. After I was done I went back to the driver and explained to him how dangerous his actions were. I also told him I understood about the argument, but the middle of the street was not the place to have it. With an unhappy look he took his ticket and drove off.

I walked back to my car knowing he was going to make the blog for sure.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

We need to treat our people better

Posted on January 13, 2016 by Badge415

_DSC8694 How many of us know someone who was injured on-duty and was off of work for an extended period of time. Now, think of how many times you called that person or sent them a text message to see how they were doing? Probably not often or at all. Over the years I’ve been guilty of not making that call also.

Recently I got to thinking about this and I wondered why we don’t call our fellow brothers and sisters in uniform when they get hurt. I’m sure a buddy calls, but what about the rest of us?

No one wants to be injured and away from work, but it happens to cops and firefighters all of the time. More often than not, they sit at home frustrated with their injury, works comp and the city. They do all of this alone with no word from their chief, immediate supervisor or fellow officers. It’s as if they were forgotten by everyone.

The deserve better and we need to make an effort to show them they matter when they’re injured. Anything can happen on the street, which means you could be the next cop or firefighter injured while doing the job you love.

Just something to think about.

Can you hear me now?

Posted on January 7, 2016 by Badge415

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I got to work on Wednesday and started making phone calls related to a hit and run report from the week before. I made three phone calls and had no luck. About 20 minutes later, I was still sitting at the desk when the phone rang.

I picked it up as I said, “Traffic.”

“Someone called me from this number.”

“Is this Juan?” I asked, since that was one of the people I called. The connection was terrible and I could barely hear him.

“Who?”

I told the man I was a police officer and what department I worked for. I asked, “Did you witness a collision last week?”

“Who is this?”

“I’m a police officer investigating a hit and run crash. Is this Juan?”

“What accident?”

“Did you leave your phone number with someone at a crash last week or were you involved in a collision?”

“Who?” Apparently, the connection was bad for him too. This was like trying to make a special order in the drive thru.

“This is the police department. I’m trying to find Juan?”

“What number were you calling?” he asked.

I told him I had called a couple of different numbers because I was trying to speak with witnesses. I then started reading phone numbers off to him as I asked if one of those was his.

“This is a new phone. I don’t know the number.”

“Were you in a parking lot last week when there was a crash?”

“My family was in an accident?”

All I could do was shake my head in frustration. Talking to him was like watching an Olympic downhill skier tumbling down the side of a mountain after he hit a couple of trees. It was just painful.

First he couldn’t hear me and now he thought his family was in a traffic collision. It was truly a “Can you hear me now” moment. Our conversation would’ve made a great cell phone commercial.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

Happy New Year

Posted on January 1, 2016 by Badge415

_DSC7459 The clock struck midnight on New Year’s Eve night and it didn’t take long before we had our first DUI collision of 2016. Luckily the first victim was only a tree and not some unlucky person, who was minding their own business on their way home.

After the DUI investigation was completed, the driver was handcuffed and told he was under arrest. I was standing there when he said, “But I’m not drunk.”

I pointed to the tree the guy crashed into and joked to another officer, “Doesn’t he realize he failed the driving test?”

The driver was given the option of a blood or breath test. After he decided on the blood test I started to walk away. That’s when he said, “I’m not drunk” again.

His car was stuck on the median and up against a tree with a flat tire and a damaged rim. Its front bumper and grille were also damaged. After looking at the car and hearing him over and over, I wondered if he realized how silly he sounded at this moment.

You just can’t go around hitting things. Especially after drinking 4 or 5 beers on New Year’s Eve night. Maybe it’s time he drank from the cup of responsibility instead. It wasn’t like tree jumped out in front of him.

Have a safe 2016.

I shouldn’t comment on DMV photos

Posted on December 31, 2015 by Badge415

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The other night I responded to a hit and run collision in the parking lot at a fast food restaurant. When I arrived, I saw a man in the parking lot, who was about 35 years old. He saw the police car and flagged me down. I stopped and asked, “Did you call the police?”

“Yes. Thank you for coming.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“I was walking past the drive thru when a Jeep hit me. I ended up on the hood.”

“Did you fall to the ground?”

“No, I fell on my feet.”

“You fell on your feet? Don’t you mean you landed on your feet?”

“No. I fell on my feet.”

I had never heard that before, but I went with it. After he gave me a description of the driver and vehicle, I asked if he was injured from the collision.

“My shoulder hurts. I asked my wife to look at my face to see if one side was drooping.”

What? Was this guy injured in a crash or was he having a stroke? I should’ve asked if one of his arms was numb too.

After I got his statement, I asked him if I could see his identification. He reached into his back pocket and pulled his wallet out. He thumbed through it and handed me his license. I looked at it and noticed his eyes were looking up and to the right. I turned the license toward him and asked, “What were you looking at when they took the picture?”

“My eyes are kind of crooked,” he replied.

Oops, I hadn’t noticed that. I wasn’t really sure where the conversation could go from there, but I tried to salvage it. That was the least I could do.

“Look at me.” I said. He turned his head as I took a quick look. “Naw. You look fine.”

He laughed at that, which was good, because I thought it was funny. Maybe I shouldn’t comment on people’s DMV photo anymore. Well, I probably will. You never know what’s going to come up.

The funny things people say

Posted on December 28, 2015 by Badge415

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People sometimes say the funniest things at traffic collisions. That was the case one night years ago when I was sent to an injury collision where a Chevy Tahoe rolled down an embankment.

When I pulled up, there was a woman already in the ambulance with a broken nose. There were a couple of passengers with minor injuries standing with officers, who were writing their information down. The driver, a male in his 20s, was with another officer. Someone came up to me and said, “He’s HBD,” meaning he had been drinking.

I walked down the sidewalk and looked over the edge to where the vehicle was. The Tahoe had rolled down the hill a couple of times and came to rest on its roof in the playground area of a daycare center. There was a crushed jungle gym underneath it that now resembled a pancake. At least the daycare closed at the time.

I walked up to the driver and asked, “What happened?”

He said, “I was turning and lost control. I hit the curb and we rolled over.”

I could tell he had been drinking and asked, “How many beers did you have tonight?”

“Just two.”

“Two? I said with a raised eyebrow. “Come on man. I can smell it on you from over here?”

The driver pointed to his passengers and said, “It’s because their beer spilled on me when we crashed.”

It’s one of the best DUI remarks ever.