I speak 7-Eleven

Posted on June 12, 2016 by Badge415

I stepped into the ambulance and saw a paramedic speaking to a man on the gurney. The gurney was tilted so the man was sitting up. The paramedic told his partner that he was having trouble communicating with the patient.

I sat down on the seat next to the paramedic so I could try and ask the man about the collision. The man, who was in his 30s, was from India and had a red 7-Eleven shirt on. They spoke back and forth for a few seconds as I waited to ask my questions. The paramedic still had the same look on his face while they tried to talk.

That’s when the movie “Airplane” popped into my head. There was a scene where the stewardess was trying to speak with two men who spoke jive. She didn’t understand them and an older woman stepped in and said, “Oh stewardess. I speak Jive.” The scene is funny after all these years.

As a cop, I’ve spent plenty of time inside 7-Eleven. It’s a perfect place to stop and take a break. That also means I’ve spent a lot of time talking with the clerks.

I looked at the paramedic and said, “I speak 7-Eleven.

I jumped in and started asking the patient what happened. Within a minute he told tell me the entire story about not feeling well, his speed, direction of travel and the crash. I looked over at the paramedic and said, “I’ve spent a lot of time inside 7-Eleven.” That made him laugh.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

Here’s another favorite quote from Airplane…….

“A hospital? What is it?”

“It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.”

You have to watch the movie if you didn’t get it.

I was going to get insurance

Posted on June 10, 2016 by Badge415

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Yesterday, I pulled up to a two-car crash and contacted both drivers. One guy crashed into another while running a stop sign as he made a right turn. I spoke with him first and asked him for his driver’s license.

He handed me a temporary license and I copied the information down. After I was done, I handed the paper back to the stop sign runner and asked, “Can I get your insurance?”

With hesitation he said, “I don’t have insurance. I just got the car.”

“When did you get the car?”

“Two months ago.”

“Why don’t you have insurance?”

“I was going to get it right now.”

“What do you mean right now?”

“I was driving to the insurance place right now.”

It was 7:30PM. Sure he was.

Of course, this wasn’t the first time I had heard this one before. Just once, i want to hear someone say, “Boy, I”m lucky. I just got car insurance today!”

Maybe one day, but I’m not holding my breath.

Can I have a chance?

Posted on June 8, 2016 by Badge415

On Monday afternoon, I was stopped at a red light in the far left lane. A woman stepped off the curb and started crossing in the crosswalk. As she neared my car, I glanced over to my right. That’s when I saw a car in the far right lane as it rolled though the red light like it wasn’t there.

Once the woman passed, I put my lights on and went after the car. I stopped the driver, who was 18 years old and asked, “What two reasons do you think I stopped you for?”

“I ran the red light?”

At least he was honest.

“Did you see the woman in the crosswalk?” I asked.

“No.”

“Can I see your license?”

“I left my wallet at home,” he said.

Strike three.

I took out my notepad and asked him for his name and other information. While I was writing down his address he asked, “Can I have a chance? I’ll never do it again.”

It was one of the most insincere things I’d ever heard. That might work on mom, but not me.

“You ran a red light with a woman in the crosswalk and you don’t have your license with you. What do you think is going to happen?”

I continued getting his information when he gave one last ditch effort as he said, “Can I have a chance?”

“Don’t ask again,” I answered as I shook my head. “Why do you keep asking like that?”

“My parents will get mad if I get a ticket,” he replied.

“How old are you?”

“I’m 18.”

“So, you’re a big boy, who is able to make big boy decisions, right?” He nodded. “And you’re also a big boy who can make decisions too, right?” He nodded again.

I explained to him about being a traffic cop and what I’ve seen because of carelessness. He listened and seemed to understand. I next asked, “Now what would you do if I was sitting in the car and you were standing out here?”

He lowered his head and said, “I’d do what you’re doing.”

It turned out he had four violations. After a big brother talk I gave him a break on half of half of them. He signed the ticket and gave me a sincere thank you and a firm handshake.

In the end I said, “I bet you’ll never forget me when you make that right turn again.”

He smiled and said, “No, I won’t.”

Words of wisdom

Posted on June 6, 2016 by Badge415

The other night I was at a four-car crash with another officer named Adrian. It turned out the collision occurred in the unincorporated part of the city, so it was being handled by the California Highway Patrol.

There was nothing for us to do, so we stood there and talked with deputies from the sheriff’s department, who also responded. While we were standing next to the crashed cars, Adrian pointed to the rear of one of the vehicles.

I looked and saw a bumper sticker on the back of the car and we both laughed. I guess you could call it “words of wisdom.”

You just never know what you’re going to see in the middle of a collision scene where there are a ton of police cars and fire trucks.

It was a rear end collision too…….

That’s just weird

Posted on June 3, 2016 by Badge415

clown
The other night, a gang unit came on the radio saying they were trying to stop a person on a bike who was trying to get away from them. I was close by and got there a moment after the suspect was caught.

When I arrived, the helicopter directed me into the alley where the officers were. I saw a Honda stopped facing eastbound and a police car behind it. There was also a BMX bicycle on its side.

One of the gang cops pointed to the Honda and told me the suspect broke off its passenger side mirror when he hit the car. After the collision, the suspect left the bike and fled on foot. That’s when they caught him.

The bicycle rider was the hit and run suspect? That’s a new one.

The victim was standing next to his car and I went to get his information for the report. Instead of a driver’s license, I got a blank look because he didn’t have one.

This call was already weird enough with the hit and run suspect being a guy on a bike. You might as well throw in another guy with no license to make it interesting. Maybe a circus was in town and we could have clowns too.

After I was done with the driver, I wrote down the suspect’s information. A record check showed he had a valid driver’s license.

What?

So, let me get this straight. The hit and run dude on a bike had a driver’s license, but the guy driving the car didn’t????

Weird, right?

Weird is actually pretty normal for me at work. I wouldn’t expect anything else.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

“It was hard to hear”

Posted on May 29, 2016 by Badge415

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It always cracks me up when people come up with stupid excuses when they’ve done something wrong.

The call went out as an injury collision at an intersection involving two cars. When I arrived, there were fire fighters pointing down a side street. I looked and there was a disabled car north of the intersection. I turned there and directed other officers to the next intersection where the crash was.

The driver, who was 17 years old and unlicensed, was crying and upset. Through sobs and tears she told me she had never been issued a license and took the car with her mother’s permission to get something to eat.

When mom arrived, I asked, “Did you know she had the car?”

“No.”

“She said she called you,” I said.

“No.”

I pointed to the driver and looked back at mom with a more serious tone in my voice as I said, “She called you right? She said she did.”

With hesitation and stuttering, mom finally said she spoke with her daughter on the phone. I asked, “What did she say when she called?”

“It was hard to hear her. She said she was going to get something to eat.”

“So, you gave her permission to drive then?”

“It was hard to hear. I was at a funeral.”

A loud funeral??? That was the best she could come up with?

“Funerals are quiet,” I said.

“It was hard to hear what she said.”

I couldn’t resist as I said, “It’s a funeral, not a wedding.”

In the end, it turned out the 17 year old, caused the crash when she made a left turn in front of another unlicensed driver. This was like the perfect storm of unlicensed drivers crashing into each other.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

She got a free ride (twice)

Posted on May 25, 2016 by Badge415

The call came out as a burglary in progress at an apartment complex at 10PM. When I arrived, dispatched advised over the radio that the caller was elderly and had the front door open.

I walked up to the apartment and saw a frail looking woman in her mid-70s standing just inside the door. She had one hand on the wheelchair in front of her for support. The other hand was holding a phone as she spoke to dispatch. The screen door was locked and it took her a long time to move 4 feet to open it for me.

She had called the police because she heard voices outside the door. Her hands were shaking and she moved at slower than a snails pace. We checked all the rooms for her while she stood next to the front door. We were about to leave when she told us she was going to bed.

I looked at the distance from the front door to her bedroom and thought it was going to take her forever to walk back. I looked at a new cop and said, “You should give her a ride in the wheelchair so she doesn’t have to walk that far.”

The officer, who just got off of training, looked at the woman and said, “Ma’am, can I give you a ride in your chair?”

She smiled and sat down in the wheelchair. He turned her around and started pushing her toward her room as she said, “I get a free ride.” I stood at the door as another officer followed to help tuck grandma into bed.

I heard the officers say goodnight to the woman as they left the room. That’s when one of the cops said, “How are we going to lock the door? It’s only a deadbolt.”

We stood there looking at the doorknob with a “WTF” look on our faces. One of the officers said, “Maybe we can climb out the window.”

“Maybe we can lock the deadbolt and slide the key under the door,” said the other officer. He went back to the bedroom and asked the woman where her key was. He then told us, “She doesn’t know where the key is.”

All three of us walked to grandma’s bedroom and told her the bad news about not being able to lock the door. She slowly sat up in bed with great effort. She grabbed ahold of the wheelchair and sat down for her second free ride of the night.

I shot video of the probationary officer as he pushed grandma back to the front door. They both had smiles on their faces.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

She just didn’t believe us

Posted on May 23, 2016 by Badge415

Traffic Control

A few months ago I was at a crash where a woman in her 40s ran a red light and collided into two other cars. After speaking with her I could tell she had major emotional problems. The accident made everything worse because she was driving her mother’s car and she didn’t want to tell her.

After a few minutes she started talking about not wanting to live. I called for a patrol unit to deal with her while I continued to handle the collision investigation part.

Two officers rolled up and spoke to the woman. A few minutes later one of the cops told me she really didn’t want to kill herself. He said she was an emotional wreck and more worried about telling her mother about the car. They helped out by calling mom and breaking the news to her.

When I was done, I walked over to where the woman was. She was still a mess, but things were better now that the officers had calmed her down and spoken to her mom.

I tried to make her feel better by telling her we had all been involved in on-duty crashes before.

She looked at me with a suspicious look and said, “No you haven’t.”

“Yes, I have. One time I hit a house,” I replied.

With a skeptical look she said, “No you didn’t. You’re just trying to make me feel better.”

I pointed to one of the cops and said, “I met him his first day at work when he crashed on his very first call.”

She looked over at him as he said, “I did.”

“No you didn’t. You’re lying.”

“Serious. I did.” he said.

The other cop then said, “I’ve crashed too.”

She squinted her eyes as she said, “You’re making this stuff up.”

No matter how much we told her about our traffic collisions she didn’t believe us. We all wished the stories weren’t true, but they were.

I know it sounds pretty far fetched for a police car to hit a house, but it was true. Maybe a picture of my crashed patrol car in the front yard of that house would’ve made her believe me.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

Did she hang up on me?

Posted on May 19, 2016 by Badge415

The other night I drove to a person’s house to try and contact them about a traffic collision they were involved in the week before. The driver wasn’t home, but I got their phone number from someone who lived there.

I drove around the corner and pulled over so I could call her. The phone rang once and she said, “Hello?”

I told her my name and what police department I was from. I then asked, “Were you in a car accident last week?”

“Yes.”

I explained to her that I was the officer investigating the crash and asked, “Can you tell me what happened?”

“I’m driving. I can’t talk right now.”

“But you answered the phone,” I said shaking my head. “Can you pull over and tell me what happened then?”

“I’m driving. I can’t talk.” She then hung up.

I looked at my phone with a confused look as I wondered what just happened. What the heck was this lady talking about? It sure didn’t bother her to answer the phone when she was driving. Now she can’t talk when the cops call?

I hit redial.

Ring, ring, ring, ring, voicemail.

“Hi, this is the officer you just hung up on. Can you call me back so I can ask you what happened about the accident? I work until 3AM.” I left the department phone number and hung up as I said, “Thank you” in an overly cheerful voice.

Five minutes later I hit redial again, but it went back to voicemail. I never heard back from her the rest of the night. Did she think this was a random police calling sting where we try to catch you on the phone?

I guess I scared her into not using her phone for a while. I bet she had to fight the urge to touch it for the next hour, expecting it to be the cops to see if she answered again.

Part of me wanted to call at 3AM just so I could hang up on her too.

“Hi, this is Officer………” Click.

We could call it even then.

I can’t look at the sidewalk the same way

Posted on May 11, 2016 by Badge415

There are times at crashes when people try to describe what happened by writing on paper or using their finger to draw imaginary lines on their hand.

Some have even reached for my pen and grabbed it as they say, “Can I show you?’

That usually ends in a tug of war for my pen because it’s plain rude to try and grab it out of my hand. What are these people thinking?

Other times they flail their arms around trying to tell me what happened. It sometimes feels like I’m dodging karate chops while they tell their story. I recently told a woman at a crash, “Can you not poke me in the eye?”

The other night a guy was trying to tell me how the collision occurred. He was in his early 50s and had a thick Vietnamese accent. I got the story the first time, but he really wanted me to understand.

The car in front of him had stopped suddenly as the light turned red. He thought the car was going to continue through, but it didn’t and they crashed. Easy story, but apparently he wanted to add to it.

That’s when he suddenly dropped to his knees in front of me and started pointing to a large gap in the sidewalk. The gap was now an imaginary crosswalk where the car had stopped in front of him.

First of all, it just looks weird when a grown man is kneeling in front of a cop on a major highway where hundreds of cars pass every minute.

While he was on his knees, I turned to the other officers and said, “This is awkward.”

I looked at the guy and said, “Can you get up and shake it out?”

I took a step back and he stood up. We were back to normal again. He seemed to snap out of it, but then dropped back to his knees as I said, “Don’t go down again.”

I shook my head and smiled at the other cops as they laughed at what the guy was doing.

Somehow this gap in the sidewalk was going to make him feel better and justify the collision. He was talking a mile a minute when I looked over at the cops and said, “I can’t concentrate here.”

My comments were adult in nature and went right over his head. I just couldn’t resist.

After the guy left, I asked one of the cops a question about the call. They said, “Do you want me to get down on my knees and show you?”

That was the funniest thing I heard all night!