It always cracks me up when people come up with stupid excuses when they’ve done something wrong.

The call went out as an injury collision at an intersection involving two cars. When I arrived, there were fire fighters pointing down a side street. I looked and there was a disabled car north of the intersection. I turned there and directed other officers to the next intersection where the crash was.

The driver, who was 17 years old and unlicensed, was crying and upset. Through sobs and tears she told me she had never been issued a license and took the car with her mother’s permission to get something to eat.

When mom arrived, I asked, “Did you know she had the car?”

“No.”

“She said she called you,” I said.

“No.”

I pointed to the driver and looked back at mom with a more serious tone in my voice as I said, “She called you right? She said she did.”

With hesitation and stuttering, mom finally said she spoke with her daughter on the phone. I asked, “What did she say when she called?”

“It was hard to hear her. She said she was going to get something to eat.”

“So, you gave her permission to drive then?”

“It was hard to hear. I was at a funeral.”

A loud funeral??? That was the best she could come up with?

“Funerals are quiet,” I said.

“It was hard to hear what she said.”

I couldn’t resist as I said, “It’s a funeral, not a wedding.”

In the end, it turned out the 17 year old, caused the crash when she made a left turn in front of another unlicensed driver. This was like the perfect storm of unlicensed drivers crashing into each other.

You just can’t make this stuff up.