Tag Archives: traffic

He popped his what?

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The other night, I was driving the down the street when I decided to pull a car over for a lighting violation. I put my overheads on and the vehicle started to slow down.

As it pulled to the curb, it seemed like the driver didn’t know what to do. Instead of stopping, the vehicle kept going and turned abruptly into a parking lot.

After the vehicle stopped, I walked up to door and asked the driver, who was about 18 years old, for his license. The driver was nervous as he tried to get his license out of his wallet. When he finally got it out he said, “I’m nervous. This is the first time I have ever been stopped.”

“I’m a lot of people’s first,” I said hoping he’d get my joke.

The driver smiled and said, “You popped my cherry.”

OMG. That had to be one of the funniest things I’d ever heard on a car stop. I laughed and handed him back his license as I said,  “That was funny.” I then waved at him and walked away.

You just never know what people are going to say at work.

He’s freaking weird

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Have your ever had a conversation that left you saying “WTF?”

The other night I was at a crash when the tow truck driver pointed down the street and asked, “Do you remember the crash where the car went through the wall?”

“You mean the fatal?”

“Yeah.”

“I remember it, but I wasn’t working that night.”

With a look of lust the driver tow driver said, “She had a nice ass. What a waste.”

“Who? The dead woman?” I replied.

“Yeah.”

“How did you see her? Was she still in the car?”

“No, she was in the street.”

“Didn’t she get ejected?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“So, you’re saying the dead woman had a nice ass?” I replied with sarcasm.

“She had a nice ass. What a waste,” he said as he shook his head.

I was speechless. That was the fart in the elevator moment that killed the conversation. There was no where to go after that.

As the tow truck drove away, I knew that tow truck man had just achieved Badge415 blog status.  Who says that? What a weird MOFO.

You just never know what people are going to say and you can’t make this stuff up.

Picasso and his ice cream

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The other night, I responded to a crash and found a car in them middle of the intersection with front end damage and fluid splashed everywhere. There was a man, a woman and a dog from the crashed car waiting at the corner.

The woman, who was in her 20s, was injured and was sitting on the curb with her dog Picasso. He was small and had fur as white as snow. Even though his fur was white, I noticed his head had a Pepto Bismol pink tint to it.

Was this a new doggie hair style? I had to ask his owner.

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It turned out Picasso and his owners went out for a snack that night. He got his own cup of vanilla ice cream, which he enjoyed in the backseat of the car. His owner was in the front passenger seat with a large bowl of strawberry ice cream.

That’s when a truck made a left turn in front of them and they broadsided it. The strawberry ice flew into the air and got everywhere, including on Picasso.

Poor Picasso got a double whammy that night. He was in a car accident and got a strawberry ice shower at the same time. In all my years of working traffic, this was my first case of a dog with a pink hairdo from flying ice cream.

Thanks for the pictures Picasso.

My first parking ticket

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imageThe first ticket is like your first kiss or your first car. It’s just one of those things that you never forget. Okay, maybe not exactly like that, but you never forget it.

On Monday, I was on my way to Starbucks when I took a side street and went by  my old high school. I only took the street to avoid traffic on Central Ave, which was the main road to the west.

As I passed by Chino High School, I glanced over at the street sign that said, No parking from 9AM to 2PM Monday thru Friday.

The old buildings from the school brought back memories, but that street sign brought back another.

That was because a long time ago I parked in front of the sign at 1:30PM….. Yes, Chino PD got me that day for my very first parking ticket.

Here’s another reason why I remember that ticket. I paid for it with the first check I ever wrote.

Nothing like a day of firsts….

784 En Route

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If you’ve read the blog for a while, you know that my old call sign was 784. Depending on who is on the radio, I’ll still say 784 every once in a while just for the heck of it.

One day shift dispatcher will always reply back to me as 784 even if I made the last radio transmission as 729. Another dispatcher on the graveyard shift will do the same. It always makes me laugh and adds a little fun to the job to hear them do that.

The other night a veteran dispatcher sent me a message on the computer asking if I wanted to take a late call. I replied back, “I haven’t said 784 in a while….I’m going to bust it out.”

She typed back, “DO IT!!!!”

With a smile, I keyed the microphone as I said, “784.”

“784,” replied the dispatcher.

“784, I’ll be en route to the crash.”

“784, 10-4.”

I left the station and headed to a call that involved a security vehicle. When I got there, I saw the security car in the parking lot. I looked at the back of the car and saw something that was like the crack of thunder and bolt of lightning as Beethoven’s 9th Symphony played in the background.

Right there on the back of the car was 784.

Okay, maybe there wasn’t music, lightning and thunder…..but it was still kind of weird. That just goes to show you that you never know when 784 is going to appear at a car accident scene.

For now, 784 roams the streets at night in a black and white disguised as 729.

“784 log off.”

I speak 7-Eleven

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I stepped into the ambulance and saw a paramedic speaking to a man on the gurney. The gurney was tilted so the man was sitting up. The paramedic told his partner that he was having trouble communicating with the patient.

I sat down on the seat next to the paramedic so I could try and ask the man about the collision. The man, who was in his 30s, was from India and had a red 7-Eleven shirt on. They spoke back and forth for a few seconds as I waited to ask my questions. The paramedic still had the same look on his face while they tried to talk.

That’s when the movie “Airplane” popped into my head. There was a scene where the stewardess was trying to speak with two men who spoke jive. She didn’t understand them and an older woman stepped in and said, “Oh stewardess. I speak Jive.” The  scene is funny after all these years.

As a cop, I’ve spent plenty of time inside  7-Eleven. It’s a perfect place to stop and take a break. That also means I’ve spent a lot of time talking with the clerks.

I looked at the paramedic and said, “I speak 7-Eleven.

I jumped in and started asking the patient what happened. Within a minute he told tell me the entire story about not feeling well, his speed, direction of travel and the crash. I looked over at the paramedic and said, “I’ve spent a lot of time inside 7-Eleven.” That made him laugh.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

Here’s another favorite quote from Airplane…….

“A hospital? What is it?”

“It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.”

You have to watch the movie if you didn’t get it.

I was going to get insurance

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Yesterday, I pulled up to a two-car crash and contacted both drivers. One guy crashed into another while running a stop sign as he made a right turn. I spoke with him first and asked him for his driver’s license.

He handed me a temporary license and I copied the information down. After I was done, I handed the paper back to the stop sign runner and asked, “Can I get your insurance?”

With hesitation he said, “I don’t have insurance. I just got the car.”

“When did you get the car?”

“Two months ago.”

“Why don’t you have insurance?”

“I was going to get it right now.”

“What do you mean right now?”

“I was driving to the insurance place right now.”

It was 7:30PM. Sure he was.

Of course, this wasn’t the first time I had heard this one before. Just once, i want to hear someone say, “Boy,  I”m lucky. I just got car insurance today!”

Maybe one day, but I’m not holding my breath.

Can I have a chance?

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On Monday afternoon, I was stopped at a red light in the far left lane. A woman stepped off the curb and started crossing in the crosswalk. As she neared my car, I glanced over to my right. That’s when I saw a car in the far right lane as it rolled though the red light like it wasn’t there.

Once the woman passed, I put my lights on and went after the car. I stopped the driver, who was 18 years old and asked, “What two reasons do you think I stopped you for?”

“I ran the red light?”

At least he was honest.

“Did you see the woman in the crosswalk?” I asked.

“No.”

“Can I see your license?”

“I left my wallet at home,” he said.

Strike three.

I took out my notepad and asked him for his name and other information. While I was writing down his address he asked, “Can I have a chance? I’ll never do it again.”

It was one of the most insincere things I’d ever heard.  That might work on mom, but not me.

“You ran a red light with a woman in the crosswalk and you don’t have your license with you. What do you think is going to happen?”

I continued getting his information when he gave one last ditch effort as he said, “Can I have a chance?”

“Don’t ask again,” I answered as I shook my head. “Why do you keep asking like that?”

“My parents will get mad if I get a ticket,” he replied.

“How old are you?”

“I’m 18.”

“So, you’re a big boy, who is able to make big boy decisions, right?” He nodded. “And you’re also a big boy who can make decisions too, right?” He nodded again.

I explained to him about being a traffic cop and what I’ve seen because of carelessness. He listened and seemed to understand. I next asked, “Now what would you do if I was sitting in the car and you were standing out here?”

He lowered his head and said, “I’d do what you’re doing.”

It turned out he had four violations. After a big brother talk I gave him a break on half of half of them. He signed the ticket and gave me a sincere thank you and a firm handshake.

In the end I said, “I bet you’ll never forget me when you make that right turn again.”

He smiled and said, “No, I won’t.”

Words of wisdom

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The other night I was at a four-car crash with another officer named Adrian. It turned out the collision occurred in the unincorporated part of the city, so it was being handled by the California Highway Patrol.

There was nothing for us to do, so we stood there and talked with deputies from the sheriff’s department, who also responded. While we were standing next to the crashed cars, Adrian pointed to the rear of one of the vehicles.

I looked and saw a bumper sticker on the back of the car and we both laughed. I guess you could call it “words of wisdom.”

You just never know what you’re going to see in the middle of a collision scene where there are a ton of police cars and fire trucks.

It was a rear end collision too…….

 

That’s just weird

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The other night, a gang unit came on the radio saying they were trying to stop a person on a bike who was trying to get away from them. I was close by and got there a moment after the suspect was caught.

When I arrived, the helicopter directed me into the alley where the officers were. I saw a Honda stopped facing eastbound and a police car behind it. There was also a BMX bicycle on its side.

One of the gang cops pointed to the Honda and told me the suspect broke off its passenger side mirror when he hit the car. After the collision, the suspect left the bike and fled on foot. That’s when they caught him.

The bicycle rider was the hit and run suspect? That’s a new one.

The victim was standing next to his car and I went to get his information for the report. Instead of a driver’s license, I got a blank look because he didn’t have one.

This call was already weird enough with the hit and run suspect being a guy on a bike. You might as well throw in another guy with no license to make it interesting. Maybe a circus was in town and we could have clowns too.

After I was done with the driver, I wrote down the suspect’s information. A record check showed he had a valid driver’s license.

What?

So, let me get this straight. The hit and run dude on a bike had a driver’s license, but the guy driving the car didn’t????

Weird, right?

Weird is actually pretty normal for me at work. I wouldn’t expect anything else.

You just can’t make this stuff up.