Tag Archives: law enforcement

I’ll wait for another ride

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Last night I responded to a hit and run crash involving an SUV, that was disabled in the road. When I arrived, it was turned the wrong way and blocking a lane. It’s right rear tire had been torn from the vehicle and was in the street blocking another lane. The crash also ripped off the rear bumper and tossed it aside like an old toy on Christmas morning. The driver was standing on the sidewalk with two car seats next to her.

She told me, “I was in the intersection when I saw the car coming right at me.”

The suspect vehicle went through a red light and hit the victim on the right rear wheel and bumper area, causing it to spin out of control. Her two small children were in the back seat at the time. The driver said, “I thought we were going to roll over.”

It was amazing they were not injured. This crash could’ve been worse.

After I was done with the interview, I handed her a card with the report number on it. I wished her luck and told her to call her insurance company. She thanked me as she watched her vehicle get dragged  up onto a flatbed tow truck. She told me she only had liability insurance, which meant she was out of luck because this SUV was going to car heaven a week before Christmas.

She shook her head as she said, “I have no money to fix this.”

As I walked back to my car another officer pointed to her rear bumper, which was still in the street. I glanced down at it, but I wasn’t sure what he wanted to me look at. That’s when he pointed at a sticker on the bumper that said, “If you ride with me, be prepared to die with me.”

That’s not the type of sticker that I want on my car. That’s just asking for trouble from the car accident gods. 

Remind me to never to get a ride from this woman or be on the same airplane with her.

The naughty tie

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One common theme in police work is that you never know what’s going to happen next. You also never know what you’re going to hear either.

The other night, I was standing in a restaurant while on a hit and run call. A man and woman walked around the corner and stopped because we were in the way.

The woman then seductively ran her hand over the man’s holiday themed tie as she said, “Can I touch your Christmas balls?

That was too funny to hear. She thought it was amusing too and ran her hand over each and every ball on the tie.

My partner and I moved out of the way so they could pass. They had both been drinking and seemed like they were having a good time. As they walked by she mentioned his Christmas balls again.

That’s when I said, “Can I take a picture of your tie?”

“Sure.”

I took my phone out as he posed. That’s when she moved her hand to his tie and asked, “Do you want me to touch his Christmas balls again?”

I laughed again as I said, “That’s OK.” I took the picture knowing I had a new blog story to write. You can’t make this stuff up.

Should I tell him he’s getting married?

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What’s the difference between being a boyfriend or girlfriend compared to being a fiancé? I think we’d all agree they’re as different as night and day. Being a boyfriend or girlfriend means you get Christmas and birthday presents. Being a fiancé means you almost have health insurance coverage and half of the bank account.

A few weeks ago I was investigating a hit and run crash when I had to interview a man and a woman, who were witnesses. They also happened to be a couple.

I interviewed the man first and asked him about the crash. He described what happened and called the woman his “girlfriend” during the story. After we were done I spoke to her.

The “girlfriend” walked over to me and then told me what happened. During her statement she referred to the male as “My fiancé.”

This was a potentially fun and awkward situation. I wanted to say, “But he just said……”

Part of me wanted to tell her she had only achieved girlfriend status so far. Another part of me wanted to congratulate him on getting married. The look on their faces would’ve been priceless. It also would’ve spiced up the blog story too with some drama.

This could’ve been the first time a future groom was told by the cops he was getting married before he knew it.

It was a perfect moment, but my compassionate side talked my fun side out of telling them. One thing is for sure. They might want to clear up some things before making any long term plans.

Their relationship status on Facebook might be set at, “It’s complicated.”

You just can’t make this stuff up.

Is it called a median?

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Do you know what the concrete center divider is called? It’s a median, but for some reason a lot of people call it a meridian.

The other night I went to a call where a male struck the median and then crashed into a traffic signal pole. The impact caused the vehicle to roll over and come to rest on the its side.

There was a witness, who stopped and told me what happened. When I was done with his statement, I asked him for his information. He told me his name and said he lived on Meridian Street. I wanted to joke with him and ask if he really meant he lived on Median Street instead. I skipped the joke because it would’ve been too hard to explain.

I still thought it was funny he lived on Meridian Street when a median was struck.

As you can tell, it’s the simple things that entertain me. But if you heard the word meridian as much as I have, you’d be entertained too.

Thanks In-N-Out

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Last night I was stopped for a red light when I looked over and saw In-N-Out Burger. Even though I had food in my cooler, In-N-Out sounded so much better since I hadn’t been there in a long time.

The drive-thru line was long as usual, so I decided to go inside. I stood in line and was greeted by two employees at the counter. They took my order and one asked, “What do the stars mean?” as he pointed to my shirt sleeve.

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I pointed to the four stars and said, “Each one represents five years of service.”

“Wow. Twenty years.”

“Yep. Now, you can tell how old I am,” I said with a smile.

“You don’t look that old,” one replied.

I thanked him and laughed because he was about 20 years old. I took my receipt and one of the guys said, “Thank you for your service.”

I thanked him again and knew In-N-Out had to be a Badge415 blog story for sure.

Thanks In-N-Out Burger. Your employees can always be counted on to be super nice whether I’m on or off-duty.

Collision 2.0

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On Wednesday night I went to a crash on a residential street. While I was there, I remembered taking a spectacular collision a few years ago on the same street when a car struck a fence and drove into someone’s garage.

It was foggy last night and I asked the witness, “Didn’t a car hit a house over there?”

“Yes,” the witness replied.

I described the damage and how amazing the collision was. The witness told me the house belonged to her neighbor and she remembered that night also. We talked about it briefly and then moved on. I finished the call and left.

On Thursday night, I was sent to an injury collision in another part of the city involving two cars. After talking to the drivers, I contacted the passengers and wrote their information down. One of the passengers told me his address and it rang a bell. His address was very close to where I was last night. It was so close; he was probably my witness’s next door neighbor or two houses away. 

Did he live in the house that I was talking about last night? What were the odds he was a past Badge415 customer?

After the tow trucks left, I drove away and pulled over to look up the address on a map. It turned out he lived in the same house that was hit by the car. 

Did I jinx the guy by talking about his house last night?

I’ve met people from prior collisions before, but this took weird to an entirely new level. This poor guy now has the honor of being the only person in my career that was involved as a homeowner and as a passenger in my collision reports.

Maybe I should start carrying around stickers that say “I’ve met Badge415 twice.”

You can’t make this stuff up.

There’s no crying in traffic

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“There’s no crying in baseball.”

That was a famous line said by Tom Hanks in the movie “A League of Their Own.” Just thinking of that part in the movie makes me laugh.

The other night I drove up on a crash in which a car had struck a really big tree on the wrong side of the road. It was the type of tree that took the impact and still said, “Is that all you got?”

The driver was sitting on the curb and crying as he spoke to officers. He was very respectful and honest. He had been drinking and accepted responsibility for his mistake. I remembered thinking, “Why can’t everyone be like this guy?”

I took his statement and then went to look at the crashed car. He was still sobbing as I walked away. I spoke to some witnesses and then walked back to my car as the tow truck arrived. The tow driver attached his cable to the crashed car and dragged it up the flatbed.

As the car was pulled away from the tree, a loud sound could be heard as metal dragged across the pavement like nails on a chalkboard. The driver heard this and fell back on his elbow and laid in wet grass. The noise of his car being dragged seemed to be make him cry louder. It was as if we he was watching his first love leaving forever as she boarded a plane.

I had a feeling he learned his lesson tonight, but it left me wanting to say one thing…..

“There’s no crying in traffic.”

Did that spoon come with the car?

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The actual twisted spoon in the ignition

 

Sometimes the funniest things come on while working the streets. It’s the unusual and weird stuff that make the job fun. You just never know what’s going to come up.

A few months ago, I backed up an officer on a car stop. I stood by while he contacted the driver and patted him down for weapons. He had stopped the driver for running red lights and racing another car.

After he patted the driver down, the officer walked around the beaten up 1992 BMW and looked inside. That’s when the officer asked,  “Why is there a spoon in the ignition?”

“I bought the car like that?”

First of all, who buys a car with a spoon stuck in the ignition? We thought it was stolen, but the driver told us he had all the paperwork for the vehicle.

The driver, who was unlicensed, told us his other BMW was impounded last week, so he bought another one. Apparently he only drives BMW cars.

“The car came with the spoon?” I asked.

“Yeah. I just leave it in there.”

“Do you start the car with the spoon?”

“No, I use the key.”

“Why do you have a spoon in the ignition?”

“It keeps the steering wheel from locking. They put in another ignition switch so I can start the car.”

I just stood there shaking my head like I normally do on calls. I also wondered if there was a fork and knife in the car in case he lost his spoon.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

The curb with countless stories

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The curb that keeps taking it like a champ

If you work as a traffic cop long enough you’ll return to certain locations over and over for collisions. It’s just the way it is. Usually these spots are heavily traveled intersections where the volume of traffic means it’s only a matter of time before another collision occurs.

This is true most of the time, but there’s one L shaped intersection where I work that has much less traffic, but has seen plenty of single vehicle crashes. If only the curb could talk.

This was what I thought about while standing there the other night at another single vehicle traffic collision. The only thing different that night was the name of the driver and what part of the curb he hit first before colliding into a tree, a building, a pole or a sign.

Sometimes the drivers say they were going too fast. Other times they say a phantom car cut them off. Either way, they crashed into the same curb.

I looked at the curb and saw all of its battle scars from vehicles that were traveling way too fast over the years. Each chipped portion of curb told a story of a vehicle that tried to go up against it, but lost like the others before it. All suffered the same fate and were towed away after their wheels were reduced to twisted metal and flat tires.

This particular curb has withstood the test of time and everything that man has tried to do to it with a car. Maybe one day people will figure it out and slow down. Unfortunately, it won’t be long before I go back and have another story to tell about this spot.

By the way, I don’t think I’ve ever had a woman crash at this location. Good job ladies. Too bad the guys can’t figure this out.

The phantom car

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I love the excuses people try to come up with when they crash into parked cars. First of all, when it’s 2:15AM and you’re not DUI, then you shouldn’t be crashing into stuff. It’s pretty simple when the road is straight and you want to go from point A to point B. Just drive straight.

When there are parked cars on the side of the road they don’t move. They’re parked. They’re actually giant paper weights on wheels at that moment. In fact, the parked car is as harmless as a sock on the floor of my son’s room.

Tonight, this guy tried telling me the lane got narrow and that was how he crashed into three parked cars. I pointed to the street and asked him if the lane width at the collision scene was the same as it was 500 feet down the road. He looked and told me it was the same.

I told him his story didn’t make sense and it wasn’t working for me. I asked him to help me out so I could write a report that people could understand.

With a confused look he fell back on an old collision investigation favorite. He blamed the phantom car, which allegedly moved into his lane and caused him to crash.

The phantom car has been the cause of many collisions at night. You’d be amazed on what kind of damage the phantom car has caused over the course of my career. 

The phantom car is like the Loch Ness Monster or Big Foot. It’s been seen, but its existence has never been proven. 

Of course, he couldn’t stop at the phantom car excuse. He had to throw in one more excuse to make the unbelievable more believable. He told me one of the parked cars was sticking out, yet he never saw it before the crash. 

I often wonder if people realize how silly they sound when they try to pull stuff out of their ass.

Until the next time the phantom car strikes. I’m sure we won’t have to wait long.