Just say no to crack

Posted on March 14, 2016 by Badge415

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The other day I was sent to a suspicious vehicle call in a residential neighborhood. The call said there was a man inside a red VW, who had been there for a few hours.

When I arrived, I saw a red VW Beatle parked along the curb. I ran the plate and learned it was registered out of the area. I got out of my car to look inside and was surprised to see a man sleeping.

He was stretched out in the backseat and hatchback area. He had a blanket covering him and he looked quite comfortable. I had no idea a VW Beatle had so much room. This couldn’t been a Volkswagen commercial.

Sleeping Beauty was in his mid-50s and at least 275lbs. I woke him up and told him the neighbors had called the police about the car and asked him where he lived. Tom said he lived at a half-way house not too far away from there.

“Why do you live at a half-way house?” I asked.

“It’s because I’m addicted to drugs,” he replied.

“When was the last time you did any drugs?”

“At noon. I went 50 days without doing meth, but I had a relapse today.”

I asked Tom if he could crawl to the front seat, thinking this was going to be an interesting feat on his part if he could do it. He started to go, but I wasn’t prepared for what I was going to see next.

He rolled over and tried to wiggle backwards toward the front seat. His shorts were hanging low in the back, partially exposing his rear end. I tried to shield my eyes from the half moon, but I was too slow and knew for sure I was going to have a nightmare that night.

At one point he got stuck between the seats with his ass in the air. It was like a horror movie, a flood and an alien invasion all rolled into one. As he paused to reevaluate his situation, I said, “Just say no to crack.”

Once he was finally in the driver seat we engaged in small talk about his drug use as I tried to forget the crack invasion I just experienced. That’s when he said something hilarious.

He told me, “I started smoking crack when I was 35 years old.”

Wow, I guess the phrase “Just say no to crack” didn’t mean much here.

Through small talk he told me he didn’t smoke crack anymore. He said he was strictly a meth user now. Thank goodness for that because he had enough to crack in his life.

“Do you have a meth pipe?”

“Yes, I do,” he relied.

“Where?”

The man then reached into the leg opening in his shorts toward his crotch. He dug around for a moment and pulled out a glass pipe. He held it up as he tried to hand it to me.

I looked at his crotch smelling meth pipe and said, “Um, let me get some gloves.”

When the day started I had no idea a butt crack Sleeping Beauty was going to pull a meth pipe from his crotch and hand it to me.

I guess I can cross that one off my bucket list.

A Jerry Springer moment

Posted on March 9, 2016 by Badge415

Photo courtesy of nytix.com

On Monday, I was dispatched to follow up an officer who had a person stopped on the freeway offramp. When I got there, the officer told me to stand by with the suspect while he called her parole agent.

He went to use the phone while I engaged her in small talk. Some of the best stories at work have come from small talk with people. Plus, it’s better to talk than just staring at each other.

She was homeless and in her late twenties. She had tattoos on her face and neck. She also had bad teeth and was wearing dirty clothes. She was super nice and probably had some mental issues. She told me she and her mother were drug addicts and she hadn’t seen her in about a year.

“Why are you on parole?” I asked.

“DUI,” she replied.

“Did you crash and hurt someone?”

“Yes. It was DUI with GBI, but I wasn’t driving.” She meant great bodily injury.

“How much time did you get?”

“Six years.”

“What happened?”

“I was sitting in the front passenger seat and my boyfriend was driving when my mom started choking me from the backseat. After she stopped choking me I hit my boyfriend. That’s when he crashed.”

“Wait a minute. Why was your mom choking you?”

“She was mad at me.”

“Why did you hit your boyfriend?”

“I don’t know. I just hit him.”

“Why didn’t you hit your mom for choking you?”

She gave me a serious look as she said, “It was my mom.”

I guess in the drug addict world, mom still holds a certain level of respect even when she’s trying to choke you out from the backseat.

After hearing that story a friend said, “Wow. Are they looking for the Jerry Springer set?”

You just can’t make this stuff up….

It was all in the dew

Posted on March 4, 2016 by Badge415

The other night, I was at a crash with my partner as he tried to interview the victim of a hit and run. There was a language barrier and my partner was doing the best he could to get the story with the help of family members.

After a while he had the basic story down, but he needed some more details before we were done. That’s when one of the “translators” used his finger to start drawing on the trunk of the victim’s vehicle.

The temperature was in the upper 50s and there was dew all over the car. Within seconds he drew a couple of lines on the trunk to show us how the collision occurred.

Usually people write on their insurance papers or ask to draw on my notepad to show me what happened. This was definitely a first for me after all these years.

Tonight it was all about the dew.

“It’s Deja Vu all over again”

Posted on March 2, 2016 by Badge415

A few years ago I handled a fatal traffic collision where a pedestrian was struck by a car. A few days after the collision, flowers appeared on the curb near where the body was in the street. Since then, flowers have always been there.

A few months ago I responded to the same location for a major injury collision. Ironically, the crash involved a pedestrian who was struck by a car.

When I arrived, I saw a vehicle with front end damage stopped along the north curb. The pedestrian had already been transported to the hospital.

The details of the crash were eerily similar to the fatal collision. Everything from direction of travel to location were the same. Even the bodies ended up in the same general location.

Then it got weird when I saw where the car was. It was almost parked in front of the flower memorial from the fatal collision. If the driver only knew where he parked.

Yogi Berra once said, “It’s deja vu all over again.” That was the best way to describe this location.

“You’re confusing all of us”

Posted on March 1, 2016 by Badge415

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The other day I was sitting at a conference table for a deposition related to a traffic collision I handled a year ago. The defense attorney was nice and professional. He was well prepared and only took about 15 minutes to question me about the collision.

At this pace I was going to be out of there in record time.

Next came the plaintiff’s attorney. Her client was clearly at fault and I wondered what she could ask. What a waste of time for everyone involved.

Any hope of a quick getaway flew out the window in the first 5 minutes. It was like night and day between the two lawyers. At times her questions were awkward and silly. She just wasn’t as prepared as the defense attorney was.

Then her phone rang at volume 10 and startled everyone. The ring was so loud dead people could’ve been resurrected from their graves. After a few more minutes of questions she asked to take a break so she could make a call. Really? In the middle of the depo?

At one point, the plaintiff’s attorney asked a question that left me wondering what the heck she was talking about.

Before I could answer, the defense attorney said, “You’re confusing all of us.” I nodded my head and almost started laughing.

After we went off the record I couldn’t resist and asked the plaintiff’s attorney, “Why are you suing him? Your client did everything wrong.” This made the defense attorney laugh, which was funny in itself.

She replied that her client told her a different version of how the collision happened and she believed him.

I said, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but your client isn’t telling you the whole story.”

A happy crash customer

Posted on March 1, 2016 by Badge415

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On Friday night I was on a crash where half of the intersection was closed because of fluid and debris and disabled cars.

There was a male and female from one of the vehicles standing on the corner. They were in their late teens and had a serious look on their faces. While I was talking with them I got the feeling they were a little stressed, so I decided to lighten the mood up as I asked, “Do you want to hear a funny story?”

With a look of relief the female said, “Yes.”

I then told them about a guy I stopped earlier in the night for running a red light. After hearing the story the female laughed, The male seemed to have a lot on his mind and didn’t say anything. Oh well, at least I tried.

A little while later, I was standing across the street from the teens when a car drove up and parked. A woman got out and said, “Those are my kids,” as she pointed to them. She crossed the street and went to hug them.

A few minutes later they came back as they headed toward mom’s car. As they walked by the daughter waved and said, “Thanks for making us laugh.”

The mom didn’t understand and looked at both of us. That’s when I told her the story. When I was done, she also laughed.

Before leaving the mom said, “I drove by the intersection a few minutes ago and saw the police cars.”

“Oh yeah?” I said.

“I got to 7-Eleven and my phone rang. It was my daughter and she told me they were in an accident. I didn’t realize it was them when I drove by.”

“Wow. What are the chances of that happening?” I said.

The woman then smiled and said, “Thanks for entertaining them.” She walked away a happy customer.

It’s always a good thing when someone can smile and say thank you when they walk away from a crash. It’s also a good thing when they get your jokes.

When the rules don’t apply to some people

Posted on February 24, 2016 by Badge415

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The other night I was at a crash where one of the drivers was unlicensed. Though translation, the woman told me she lived in California for 20 years and was never issued a driver’s license.

I asked her if she had ever been given a ticket before. She replied she had not. Part of me found that hard to believe. Not many people in their 40s can go that long without being stopped for a traffic violation.

I decided to use my Bluecheck fingerprint device to check her identify. I asked her if she had ever had ever been fingerprinted before. With some hesitation the woman replied she had. I asked why and she told me it was because of a DUI crash she was involved in years ago.

I guess getting a DUI was not a ticket to her.

I next ran the driver’s name on the computer and found her DMV record, which showed the DUI conviction from 2008. I also found a conviction for driving on a suspended license in 2011. Her license status showed “suspended or revoked.”

Didn’t I just ask if she had ever been given a ticket?

When I asked about the ticket on her driving record her daughter said her mom sometimes forgets things.

Like the truth?

“Most people remember when they get a ticket for driving on a suspended license,” I replied. I next asked, “Did your car impounded when you got your ticket?”

“Yes.”

After all of this, I told the woman her car was being impounded because her license was suspended. That’s when she asked for a chance to keep the car. Really?

When I said no she got upset.

I always find it funny how people get upset when I do my job after they make bad decisions. I guess the rules and laws are more like “guidelines” for some people.

Where did the time go?

Posted on February 23, 2016 by Badge415

February 22, 1995 seems so long ago, but it really was just a blink of the eye. That’s the day “The Badge” was pinned onto my chest for the first time. It’s hard to believe 21 years have passed since that day. Where did the time go? And where did my hair go?

We started the academy on Augest 29, 1994. From that moment on we called cadence as a class anytime we marched. Every week we counted off how much time we had left as part of that cadence. In the first week we marched to, “26 weeks and we’ll be through. I’ll be glad, how about you?”

Then February 21st, 1995 came and we had one more day left. The cadence was the same as every day, but that day was the loudest ever as we said, “Hey Tac Staff, look out your window. The senior class is marching by. We are the best, our heads held high. We are the 1-1-9. We are the best you’ll find.”

The best part came when we said, “One more day and we’ll be through. I’ll be glad, how about you?” It was the loudest we had ever yelled while marching during the entire 26 week academy.

I remember the chills going through my body as my eyes watered up at hearing that. Our goal was finally reached and we had one day left. We were going to be police officers tomorrow.

The next night, Orange County Sheriff’s class 119 marched into an auditorium in Fullerton, CA as proud academy graduates. When my name was called, I went up the steps onto the stage as my parents came up from the other side.

We walked toward each other and met in the middle. With my mom at his side, my dad pinned Badge415 on my chest. They gave me a big hug and I walked off the stage a real police officer.

When all of the badges were presented we were called to attention by our class sergeant as he yelled with a smile, “For the final time! Class 119 Dismissed!”

The auditorium echoed as we yelled out our class motto, “Putting it on the line, class 1-1-9” for the final time as we threw our hats into the air.

It seems like yesterday.

The day I saved Teddy (not really)

Posted on February 17, 2016 by Badge415

Not the actual Teddy bear. This guy was from another crash.

On Valentine’s Day weekend, I responded to an injury traffic collision where a guy and his girlfriend slammed into a parked car after he claimed a dog ran out in front of him. He injured his foot and refused medical aid, but his girlfriend was transported to the hospital by ambulance.

He wasn’t a particularly nice guy , but of course, that changed when he needed something. After the car was up on the flatbed tow truck the driver asked, “Can I get my backpack from the car?”

I looked at the tow truck driver and asked, “Can you get his backpack for him.”

The tow driver climbed up onto the flatbed truck and opened the car door. He reached inside and grabbed a backpack. I then handed it to the driver. As I turned to walk away the driver said, “Can you get the teddy bear too?”

With a raised eyebrow I asked, “A teddy bear?”

“Yeah.”

With a funny look on my face I turned toward the tow driver and asked, “Can you get his teddy bear?”

The tow truck guy returned the funny look and dug into the car to retrieve Teddy which he handed to me. Once Teddy was safe I handed it to the driver, who said, “And the flowers too?”

“The flowers?” The driver nodded at me. This guy was getting needy.

I turned toward the tow guy one more time and asked him to get the flowers also. He gave me the same funny look and went back inside the car.

It’s not every day someone asks for a teddy bear from a crashed car, but it was Valentine’s weekend after all. I’m sure there were lots of cars driving around with teddy bears and flowers that night. The only difference was this particular teddy bear got the ride of his life.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

“He ran me over!”

Posted on February 17, 2016 by Badge415

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Just when I thought I’d seen it all.

The other night I went to a crash involving a pedestrian and a vehicle, which normally isn’t that big of a deal, except this one had a twist.

When I got to the call, the victim was being put inside the ambulance. I jumped inside and asked, “What happened?”

The man, who was homeless, was about 40 years old. He had an unkempt looking beard and smelled like he hadn’t had a bath in weeks. He also smelled like he’d been drinking beer all day long.

He told me about lying down in the parking lot and putting his head on the curb like it was a concrete pillow.

There was car parked parallel to the curb just south of where he was resting. A guy got into the driver seat and started the engine. At this point, it would’ve been a good idea to move, but he didn’t.

That’s when he said, “He ran me over!”

Now, it’s not every day you hear someone say that, so I tried to keep a straight face as I asked, “Where did the car run you over at?”

“Look at my leg. It doesn’t look like the other one.”

He was wearing pants but one leg was definitely bigger than the other. The victim said, “The guy was drinking.”

“How do you know?”

“We’re street people. We know these things.”

You just can’t make this stuff up.