“It’s complicated”


Last week I responded to a disturbance call involving a man and woman. When I pulled up, I saw that the female had rear ended the male at a stop sign.

The damage was minor and I wondered what the big deal was. I walked up to the female as other cops spoke to the male. I learned that they were married a few months ago and they had an argument today at her house.

Not at their house or their apartment. At her house. That part was too complicated try to figure it out.

After the argument he drove to the park to be alone and she followed him there. From there, he left again.

“Why was he mad?” I asked.

“I posted something.”

“What did you post?”

“I posted a pic of a guy saying it was my new boyfriend to get him to leave me alone.”

“Let me get this straight. You posted a picture of a fake boyfriend so your husband would leave you alone?”


OMG! Who are these people and how did they get on this planet? Was I in the Twlight Zone again?

After he left the park she wanted to find him, so she went to where he normally parks his car. Didn’t she want him to leave her alone?

A few minutes later she found him and started following his car. He stopped for a stop sign and she rear ended him. To top it off, she told me he was drinking. Could this call get any stranger?  Yes, she didn’t even have a driver’s license.

In the end, he was arrested for DUI and both cars were towed.

After he was arrested she asked me, “Can I talk to him?”

Was she kidding?  It was almost like she was a black cloud following him. Maybe he was relieved to be going to  jail.

I’m wonder if her Facebook status says, “It’s complicated.”

You never know what subject is going to come up

Eye of Providence macro on the back of the US one dollar bill.

This job always has the oddest things that come up during investigations. On Wednesday night my friend and I were standing in front of our favorite 7-Eleven, which is affectionately referred to as the NSUB (North Sub Station). We were minding our own business when a motorist drove by honking her horn at us. She yelled out her window and said there was a fight down the street.

I hadn’t been there that long and I reluctantly put my cup of coffee away as I headed down the street to find out what the woman was yelling about. When I got to the next intersection, there was a car parked at the corner in an odd spot with is head lights off.

There was a male standing next to the car and he saw me pull up. He then started running away as the car drove away with its head lights still off. I decided to stop the car to see what was going on.

As the car started to leave I noticed it was jerking forward like it stalled. The car pulled into the parking lot as I activated my lights. When it stopped, four people jumped out at the same time as a Budweiser beer can fell out. We detained everyone while we tried to figure out who did what.

Of course, the driver was 16 years old and was unlicensed. I wouldn’t expect anything else because that’s how we roll in the city I work at. The driver said he was the only person in the car who knew how to drive a stick shift.

The owner of the car then contacted us and said they had taken his keys from him while at a motel room. Now I knew my cup of coffee was going to get cold because of all this drama.

While another officer took a statement from the victim, I engaged in small talk with the driver and his 20 year old cousin. I asked the driver, “Have you ever been arrested before?”

“Once, but it was a long time ago.”

“You’re only 16 years old. It couldn’t have been that long ago,” I replied. “What did you do?”


“What did you vandalize?”

“Well, they also called it breaking and entering.”

“What did you break into? How old were you?”

“I was twelve. It was a school, but the door was left open. I didn’t break in.”

I asked the driver what they used to call him or what his moniker was. He told me he didn’t have a nickname. I asked him what he used to write when he left his mark. He only said he wrote “stuff.”

His cousin then said, “He used to worship the illuminati,” as she laughed.

I wasn’t sure what she was talking about and asked, “What did he worship?”

“The illuminati. It’s like worshiping the devil.” She looked over at him and pushed his shoulder as she said, “He’s better now. We took him to church.”

I wasn’t sure what she was talking about so I pulled out my phone. She started laughing and asked if I was going to look it up. I told her I was going to Google it. That’s when I saw that it was the triangle with the eye from the back of the one dollar bill. I turned my phone around and showed her the picture.

“Oh, don’t stare at it. If you stare at it, your body is going to start shaking.” She said that as she started shaking like her body was taken over by a voodoo spell. She also had a worried look on her face. She again told me it was evil like the devil. She was totally serious too.

I looked over at the driver and asked, “Is that what you used to mark stuff up with?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“What a minute. You used to draw a triangle with an eyeball on stuff?”

With an embarrassed look he said, “Yeah.”

All I could do was shake my head. I never thought my car stop would turn into a lesson about superstition and the devil worshiping. It’s also amazing how someone would think I could start shaking if I stared at the illuminati.

You never know what you’re going to hear on this job. That’s what keeps me coming back for more.