Thinking outside the box

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The other day I went to a robbery call at 8:45AM at a small apartment complex on the south side of the city. When I arrived, there were two officers already speaking to the victim.

It was hot already, so we moved under a tree for some shade. That’s when the officer asked, “What was taken?”

The woman, who was in her mid-40s, said, “My coboodle box.”

Her caboodle what?

There was a moment of silence as all three of us looked at each other. Obviously we didn’t know what she was talking about.

“What is that?” Asked the officer.

“It’s a caboodle box,” she said. When we didn’t answer she looked at us in disbelief. “You guys don’t know what that is?”

All three of us shook out heads.

“It’s my stripper box,” she said.

That’s when I took my phone out and  said, “I’m going to Google it.”

I did my search and found what I was looking for. I clicked on “images” and turned my phone toward the woman and asked if that was what she was taking about.

“That’s it, except mine is decorated,” she proudly said.  “I’ve had my caboodle box for 23 years.”

Wow, I bet her box has a lot of stories to tell.

Picasso and his ice cream

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The other night, I responded to a crash and found a car in them middle of the intersection with front end damage and fluid splashed everywhere. There was a man, a woman and a dog from the crashed car waiting at the corner.

The woman, who was in her 20s, was injured and was sitting on the curb with her dog Picasso. He was small and had fur as white as snow. Even though his fur was white, I noticed his head had a Pepto Bismol pink tint to it.

Was this a new doggie hair style? I had to ask his owner.

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It turned out Picasso and his owners went out for a snack that night. He got his own cup of vanilla ice cream, which he enjoyed in the backseat of the car. His owner was in the front passenger seat with a large bowl of strawberry ice cream.

That’s when a truck made a left turn in front of them and they broadsided it. The strawberry ice flew into the air and got everywhere, including on Picasso.

Poor Picasso got a double whammy that night. He was in a car accident and got a strawberry ice shower at the same time. In all my years of working traffic, this was my first case of a dog with a pink hairdo from flying ice cream.

Thanks for the pictures Picasso.

784 En Route

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If you’ve read the blog for a while, you know that my old call sign was 784. Depending on who is on the radio, I’ll still say 784 every once in a while just for the heck of it.

One day shift dispatcher will always reply back to me as 784 even if I made the last radio transmission as 729. Another dispatcher on the graveyard shift will do the same. It always makes me laugh and adds a little fun to the job to hear them do that.

The other night a veteran dispatcher sent me a message on the computer asking if I wanted to take a late call. I replied back, “I haven’t said 784 in a while….I’m going to bust it out.”

She typed back, “DO IT!!!!”

With a smile, I keyed the microphone as I said, “784.”

“784,” replied the dispatcher.

“784, I’ll be en route to the crash.”

“784, 10-4.”

I left the station and headed to a call that involved a security vehicle. When I got there, I saw the security car in the parking lot. I looked at the back of the car and saw something that was like the crack of thunder and bolt of lightning as Beethoven’s 9th Symphony played in the background.

Right there on the back of the car was 784.

Okay, maybe there wasn’t music, lightning and thunder…..but it was still kind of weird. That just goes to show you that you never know when 784 is going to appear at a car accident scene.

For now, 784 roams the streets at night in a black and white disguised as 729.

“784 log off.”

I speak 7-Eleven

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I stepped into the ambulance and saw a paramedic speaking to a man on the gurney. The gurney was tilted so the man was sitting up. The paramedic told his partner that he was having trouble communicating with the patient.

I sat down on the seat next to the paramedic so I could try and ask the man about the collision. The man, who was in his 30s, was from India and had a red 7-Eleven shirt on. They spoke back and forth for a few seconds as I waited to ask my questions. The paramedic still had the same look on his face while they tried to talk.

That’s when the movie “Airplane” popped into my head. There was a scene where the stewardess was trying to speak with two men who spoke jive. She didn’t understand them and an older woman stepped in and said, “Oh stewardess. I speak Jive.” The  scene is funny after all these years.

As a cop, I’ve spent plenty of time inside  7-Eleven. It’s a perfect place to stop and take a break. That also means I’ve spent a lot of time talking with the clerks.

I looked at the paramedic and said, “I speak 7-Eleven.

I jumped in and started asking the patient what happened. Within a minute he told tell me the entire story about not feeling well, his speed, direction of travel and the crash. I looked over at the paramedic and said, “I’ve spent a lot of time inside 7-Eleven.” That made him laugh.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

Here’s another favorite quote from Airplane…….

“A hospital? What is it?”

“It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.”

You have to watch the movie if you didn’t get it.

I was going to get insurance

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Yesterday, I pulled up to a two-car crash and contacted both drivers. One guy crashed into another while running a stop sign as he made a right turn. I spoke with him first and asked him for his driver’s license.

He handed me a temporary license and I copied the information down. After I was done, I handed the paper back to the stop sign runner and asked, “Can I get your insurance?”

With hesitation he said, “I don’t have insurance. I just got the car.”

“When did you get the car?”

“Two months ago.”

“Why don’t you have insurance?”

“I was going to get it right now.”

“What do you mean right now?”

“I was driving to the insurance place right now.”

It was 7:30PM. Sure he was.

Of course, this wasn’t the first time I had heard this one before. Just once, i want to hear someone say, “Boy,  I”m lucky. I just got car insurance today!”

Maybe one day, but I’m not holding my breath.

Can I have a chance?

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On Monday afternoon, I was stopped at a red light in the far left lane. A woman stepped off the curb and started crossing in the crosswalk. As she neared my car, I glanced over to my right. That’s when I saw a car in the far right lane as it rolled though the red light like it wasn’t there.

Once the woman passed, I put my lights on and went after the car. I stopped the driver, who was 18 years old and asked, “What two reasons do you think I stopped you for?”

“I ran the red light?”

At least he was honest.

“Did you see the woman in the crosswalk?” I asked.

“No.”

“Can I see your license?”

“I left my wallet at home,” he said.

Strike three.

I took out my notepad and asked him for his name and other information. While I was writing down his address he asked, “Can I have a chance? I’ll never do it again.”

It was one of the most insincere things I’d ever heard.  That might work on mom, but not me.

“You ran a red light with a woman in the crosswalk and you don’t have your license with you. What do you think is going to happen?”

I continued getting his information when he gave one last ditch effort as he said, “Can I have a chance?”

“Don’t ask again,” I answered as I shook my head. “Why do you keep asking like that?”

“My parents will get mad if I get a ticket,” he replied.

“How old are you?”

“I’m 18.”

“So, you’re a big boy, who is able to make big boy decisions, right?” He nodded. “And you’re also a big boy who can make decisions too, right?” He nodded again.

I explained to him about being a traffic cop and what I’ve seen because of carelessness. He listened and seemed to understand. I next asked, “Now what would you do if I was sitting in the car and you were standing out here?”

He lowered his head and said, “I’d do what you’re doing.”

It turned out he had four violations. After a big brother talk I gave him a break on half of half of them. He signed the ticket and gave me a sincere thank you and a firm handshake.

In the end I said, “I bet you’ll never forget me when you make that right turn again.”

He smiled and said, “No, I won’t.”

Words of wisdom

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The other night I was at a four-car crash with another officer named Adrian. It turned out the collision occurred in the unincorporated part of the city, so it was being handled by the California Highway Patrol.

There was nothing for us to do, so we stood there and talked with deputies from the sheriff’s department, who also responded. While we were standing next to the crashed cars, Adrian pointed to the rear of one of the vehicles.

I looked and saw a bumper sticker on the back of the car and we both laughed. I guess you could call it “words of wisdom.”

You just never know what you’re going to see in the middle of a collision scene where there are a ton of police cars and fire trucks.

It was a rear end collision too…….

 

It was like a movie

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Do you remember the old Twilight Zone episode when William Shatner saw a monster ripping up the wing on the airplane he was on? I was on a call recently that reminded me of that episode.

A man, who I’ll call Frank, was driving down the freeway when someone opened the passenger door and tried to grab him. Frank tried to shake the guy off the car by swerving back and forth. The person then tried to stab Frank from underneath the car. That’s when he decided to exit the freeway.

The person was still under the car at this point, so Frank drove up onto the concrete median as he tried to get him off. A witness was behind him and described sparks coming out from underneath the car as he did this.

He  then ran a red light and crashed into another car at the intersection. After the crash, the person under Frank’s car climbed out and jumped into the trunk of the victim vehicle.

Frank wasn’t DUI. He was just mentally ill. He truly believed someone was trying to get him while he was driving. As he told the story, I said, “That sounds like a movie.” Frank nodded and agreed with me.

In the end, we had to open the truck of the victim car to show Frank there was no one in there.

It was an interesting call for sure. The only thing missing was Arnold Schwarzenegger doing battle with The Predator.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

“Can I have a chance?”

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I was driving down the street at dusk when I saw a car with its flashers on. It was heading in the same direction and was going very slow. That’s when I saw a 2015 registration sticker on the license plate. Since we were going so slow, I decided to run the plate. The information came back showing it expired 6 months ago.

The car was now sputtering and almost coughing up smoke as it limped down the road.  It was in critical condition at this point and  the only thing missing was a storm cloud above it. I put my lights on and the car slowly pulled to the side like it was giving up.

I walked up and smelled something burning from the tired and beaten up looking car. I’m sure it was just waiting to be put out of its misery.

I told the driver the reason for the stop and asked for his license. He replied by saying, “I don’t have it on me.”

This is usually code for “I don’t have a license” or “It’s suspended.”

“Do you a license or did you forget it at home?”

“It’s suspended.”

Code words confirmed.

I did a record check and found out he was driving the same car in March when he was given a ticket for a suspended license, no insurance and expired registration.

I called a tow truck and filled out another ticket for his collection. I walked back up with the citation and told him the car was getting impounded. I next waited for the, “Can I have a chance” request.

“Can someone come pick up the car?”

“No. Your license is suspended and you keep driving.”

“My brother has a tow truck. Can he tow it home?”

I looked up for a moment wondering if he was for real. What kind of question was that? I’ve impounded a lot of cars in my time, but no one has anyone asked to impound their own car.

As the tow truck hooked up the car, the driver came up again and asked for a chance.

“Did you get a ticket in March?” I asked.

“No.”

“Yes you did. You were driving that car when you got stopped.”

“Oh yeah.”

“Did the cop take the car on that day?”

“No.”

“Well, that was your chance.”

He didn’t have anything to say after that. He knew the car was going for sure.

He was a nice guy, but sooner or later you have to take responsibility for your actions. I have no doubt he’ll drive again. It just wont’ be in that car for the next 30 days.

“I made a slow down”

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The other night a car made a right turn on a red light without stopping. It was as if the red light wasn’t there, so  I decided to stop the car.

He had a head start on me so I pushed down on the gas pedal to catch up to him. The engine revved on “old faithful” as my patrol car gained on him.

Once I was behind him, I threw on the overheads and the car pulled to the curb. After it stopped, I walked up as my red and blue lights flashed and bounced off houses and passing cars.

“Hi, can I see your license?”

The driver, who was 20 years old, reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. As he grabbed for his license I asked, “Why didn’t you stop for the red light when you made the right turn?”

The driver, who was understandably nervous, handed me his license as he said, “I made a slow down.”

“A slow down?” I asked with raised eyebrows. “The light was red. Why didn’t you stop?”

“I yielded,” he said as if  he was in a hot air balloon with a leak that was crashing toward he ground.

“What color is the light for yield?”

“Uh, yellow.”

That’s when an embarrassed look appeared on his face as he realized how silly his excuse sounded.

I have a feeling he’ll stop at this red light the next time he makes a right turn.