I was sitting in my patrol car in a shopping center parking lot when security man drove up in his golf cart and pointed as he said, “Officer, that RV can’t be parked there.” I turned my head and saw what he was talking about. He then added, “It’s been there an hour.”
It was 2:30AM and I was down five crashes. All I wanted to do was catch up on my work. I drove to the RV, which looked like it belonged in a museum. It’s dented and rusted body was begging to be sent to the scrap yard. Security man told me he knocked on the door, but there was no answer. He was sure someone was inside and they were ignoring him.
He really wanted the RV to leave and asked that I make contact with the occupant. I grabbed my baton from the car and knocked on the door like someone owed me money. Of course, this “Where’s my money” sound caused movement inside.
A hand reached up and slid open a window as a woman lifted her head up to look at me. I only saw the left half of her face as we talked. I told the woman about the security guard and she said she couldn’t leave until a friend helped her repair the engine.
She kept talking and never showed her entire face. It reminded me of something, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
That’s when it hit me and I asked, “Have you ever seen the show Home Improvement?”
The woman, who was in her late 50s, gave me a weird look as her left eye squinted at my random question. After the randomness faded she replied, “Yeah.”
“This is like talking to Tim Allen’s neighbor.”
The joke floated in the air like a hanging curve ball waiting to be hit out of the ballpark. Then her face (half of it) smiled and she laughed.
At least she got my Tim Allen joke. There’s nothing like a little randomness to keep people on their toes and to make the job entertaining. It’s not every day you can work in Tim Allen and his neighbor Wilson into a conversation while out on patrol.
We comedians do have a captive audience. I always tried to relax people with a little humor while issuing a citation. Sometimes people weren’t receptive to it and I knew why. One driver laughed but asked me if I could just finish the cite, he was in a hurry. I said OK, I have your speed on radar and indeed I know you are in a hurry. 🙂