I headed eastbound on a street of overpopulated and rundown apartments where red curbs mean nothing. It was a hit and run call where the victim’s rear bumper was struck and the suspect vehicle was left behind.

The victim vehicle, which was a smaller white SUV, was parked facing eastbound along the south curb. The front bumper of a silver car looked like it was touching the the SUV, but it wasn’t. There was no damage to either car that I could see.

The “victim” came out and I asked, “Have you moved your car since you saw this?”

“No.”

“Is there any damage?”

“I don’t know.”

What did she mean she didn’t know? She was the one who called the police and told the dispatcher there was damage.

“The car’s aren’t touching,” I pointed out.

“People are always hitting my car.” She pointed to a couple who were standing 30 feet away and said, “They hit the front of my car and the police took a report. The insurance company is trying to get them to pay, buy they won’t.”

“Can you move your car up so we can see?”

With attitude, the “victim” acted like I was asking for too much. She moved the car up a few feet, got out and walked to the back as I illuminated the rear bumper with my flashlight. “Is there any damage?” I asked.

She acted like I owed her money and I was the one who crashed into her car as  she said, “I can’t tell.”

“What do you mean you can’t tell? Either you see damage or you don’t.”

“I don’t know.”

I explained to Einstein there was nothing for me to do because there was no damage, so there was no crime or traffic collision.

With total attitude she said, “The police don’t do anything.”

If I was drinking something at that moment, I would’ve spit it out in laughter.

“Didn’t you say the cops took a report when your car was hit?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, they did do something. Your problem is with the insurance company and the people who won’t to fix your car. There’s nothing the police can do in that situation. That’s a Judge Judy problem.”

I suggested she park her vehicle in her carport. The woman replied, “My uncle is parked there.”

“Does he live in the same apartment as you?”

“No.”

“If you park in the carport this sort of thing can be avoided. Why don’t you tell your uncle to park on the street so you can have the carport?”

“I parked on the street to save my neighbor a spot.”

That’s when I had a Jim Halpert moment and I wanted to look into the camera like I was on The Office.