The night Uber needed a taxi

Posted on November 3, 2015 by Badge415

Last week I pulled up to a collision call and saw three disabled vehicles in the road and one parked at the gas station on the corner. It seemed like there were a ton of people standing around being treated by fire personnel or speaking with officers. It was as if the cars threw up people all over the place.

Everyone was calm except for one loud mouth drunk who just liked to hear himself talk. He pretty much yelled the entire call and was downright obnoxious. His dumbness wasn’t directed at us, but he certainly was the fart in the elevator.

After a few minutes I figured out who was who in the zoo and started interviewing the drivers. One driver was stopped for a red light when his truck was turned into an accordion with four wheels. He was the first to get rear ended and was pushed into the car in front of him. The truck’s rear end was smashed and its front wheel broke off like it was a small Lego piece. One look at that poor truck and you knew it was going straight to car heaven.

I next spoke to an Uber driver, who told me the soon to be accordion was stopped behind him when they were rear ended. The impact turned his poor Uber mobile into a metal paper weight. The damage on that vehicle was bad. It was also getting a trip to car heaven.

I went on to interview the fourth driver and asked him what happened. In a weird twist, he was also an Uber driver with a carload of passengers.

The two Uber drivers were unrelated and just happened to be Ubering in the wrong place at the wrong time. At least they didn’t crash into each other. That would’ve been too weird.

I learned that both sets of Uber passengers had been drinking and did the responsible thing by getting a ride. Unfortunately, there was an unlicensed DUI driver behind them who wasn’t responsible. What are the odds of drunk people getting rear ended by a DUI driver?

And in the final twist of irony, we had to call a taxi to pick up some of the Uber passengers because they needed a ride.

You can’t make this stuff up.

The funny things people say

Posted on October 24, 2015 by Badge415

Tonight, the same call provided me with two different opportunities to laugh and shake my head. The first one involved a man who was driving with his family when he collided with a DUI in a minor crash.

His girlfriend was in the right front passenger and their two children were in the backseat. They were 5 and 2 years old. His girlfriend had an appointment she was late for. Someone drove up and dropped off grandpa and gave her a ride.

That left dad, grandpa and the two kids. I asked dad what his 2 year old son’s name was. He answered it pretty fast like he should since it was his own flesh and blood. He then ran into some trouble.

“What’s his birthday?” I asked.

“Ah…..”

“You don’t know his birthday?”

He started to squirm as he looked around for help. He looked at me like I was going to save him from the embarrassment rocket that was plummeting back to earth to land on him. He then said the dumbest thing I heard all night. “Ah. June. I don’t know. My wife knows.”

It was like the loser music from the Price is Right started up in the background when he said that.

“You might want to work on that one.” I said.

I looked at grandpa and thought I’d give it and shot. “Do you know his birthday?”

“Ah,” he said as he shifted back and forth. “My wife knows it.”

I looked to the 5 year old brother to save the day. I thought how cool it would be if the kid could throw a strike down the middle and deliver the ultimate game winning performance to show up dad.

“Do you know your brother’s birthday?” I asked.

The child started talking about something else as he dashed my hopes to poke at dad for not knowing his youngest son’s birthday.

“What’s your other son’s name and birthday?”

He told me the child’s name and then said, “October. Ah.”

It was on the tip of his tongue and it was painful to watch since there were only 8 days left in the month. Then by some miracle he blurted out his son’s birthday like he beat the buzzer on a timed test. At least he got that one.

I walked away wondering if he was going to remember Christmas. My only regret was not asking for his girlfriend’s birthday. I’m sure he would’ve crashed and burned on that one too.

I then watched the end of the DUI investigation. The driver attempted to raise a foot in the air for the test, but he kept putting it down like a horse trying to do Morse code with his front hoof. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

He rose the other foot and it came down like the other, but more often and faster as he lost his balance. He was either doing Morse code again or he was bull getting ready to charge at a matador.

At one point the driver just turned around in defeat and put his hands behind his back as he said to arrest him. The officer told him to turn around. The driver did and attempted Morse code again.

There was another test, but the driver turned around and put his hands behind his back as he tried to get me to handcuff him. I gave him a coach pep talk and said, “Go back over there.”

When the investigation was over, the officer told him to put his hands behind his back. He turned around and did as he told. That’s when a big smile appeared on the driver’s face as he said, “See, I told you.” The tone in his voice was hilarious like he knew he was more drunk that we thought.

A patrol unit arrived to transport the DUI to jail. One of the officers in the car only had a year on the job and was young looking.

The DUI looked at him and said, “The fucking new guy is taking me?”

You just can’t make this stuff up.

When two DUI drivers crash into each other

Posted on September 6, 2015 by Badge415

A photo I took at one of our DUI check points.

A common theme of the blog is, “You just can’t make this stuff up.” The other night we had such a call. In fact, the cops on the call were still talking about it tonight.

The story starts out with two friends. We’ll call them Tom and Frank to make it easier. Tom went to visit Frank at his house. Tom and Frank decided to get drunk at the house, which was fine. But rather than stay at Frank’s house where they were safe, they decided to leave and drive in separate cars. You can probably see where this is going already.

Of course, it didn’t matter that they didn’t have driver’s licenses even though they have lived in California for over 10 years.

As they left the house, Frank was in front of Tom. Frank approached a stop sign at a major cross street and stopped. Unfortunately for Tom, he was drunk and his driving ability was about as good as a snake trying to play a piano.

Disaster was moments away for Tom as he was about to achieve Badge415 blog status. He rear ended Frank and rolled over onto his roof, sending glass all over the street. But wait, there’s more……

After the collision, Frank made a U-turn and stopped at Tom’s car. Tom crawled out and jumped into Frank’s car so they could get out of there before the cops showed up.

Frank drove 100 yards down the street to his house and pulled into the driveway. He made a clean get away except for one thing. Frank somehow felt the need to achieve Badge415 blog status also. As he pulled into his driveway he sideswiped his roommate’s truck. Frank was now at fault for the second collision after being the “victim” of the first. Tom was the suspect of the first collision and a passenger in the second.

DUI investigations were conducted on both drivers and they were arrested for driving while under the influence. They went from one house to the Big House all because they chose poorly.

You couldn’t make this story up even if you tried. It was a lot of extra work, but it was worth it. It wouldn’t be a “normal” police shift without some type of craziness to shake things up.

Why is there still a problem with drunk driving?

Posted on July 15, 2015 by Badge415

A photo I took at one of our DUI check points.

Why is there still a DUI problem?

Last Friday and Saturday night I handled eleven collisions. Six of those were DUI crashes. I even went to a head-on collision involving a DUI driver vs. DUI driver! What are the odds of two DUI drivers finding each other and crashing in the middle of the night? That doesn’t happen very often, but when it does, everyone shakes their head.

On my last call on Saturday night, we were dealing with a driver who rear ended another car. Of course, he had been drinking too. While we were on that call, one of our officers was flagged down by a passing motorist about a person who was passed out behind the wheel. The vehicle was about one hundred yards behind us at the next intersection. That driver was also DUI. At least he didn’t crash into our police cars.

At the end of my shift on Saturday, I wondered what was going on. How come the message about drinking and driving was still falling on deaf ears? With all of the information and awareness out there about drunk driving, it’s hard to believe we still have such a problem.

I also wondered if people really knew how big of a DUI problem we still have. At least I think there’s still a problem based on what I see at work every night.

Here’s something to think about. I have a running log of every accident report I’ve ever taken since I started working as a collision investigator in January of 1999. On average, 1 out of every 3 crashes I take is a DUI collision. Sometimes it’s 1 out of every 4. No matter what, it’s been the same numbers year after year.

I’m at 5,800 collisions in my career. Do the math. That’s pretty scary If you think about it.

If you’re one of those people who drink and drive, you should think about this.

No DUI driver ever expected to get arrested. No one thinks they’re going to crash and end up in jail. No DUI driver ever thought they would kill someone, but it happens every day. No one thinks it’s going to happen to them.

Let me say that again……

No one thinks it’s going to happen to them.

Well, I have news for you. It happens more often than you think.

So, if you’re one of those guys who go out drinking, give us all a break and take a cab or use a designated driver. It’s easier for everyone, including the collision investigator.

And make sure your designated driver hasn’t been drinking too. I’ve taken a few crashes where the designated driver was DUI when they crashed. It always makes for a good story when that happens.

Remember, the designated driver is supposed to be the guy who didn’t drink at all. It’s not supposed to be the guy who was less drunk than his friends.

Be smart people. Your life and our lives depend on it.

The drunk driver and his family

Posted on July 14, 2015 by Badge415

The other night I saw something that bothered me for some reason. It wasn’t a dead body, a horrific accident, or amputated body parts. It was a family watching their father get arrested for DUI.

On Saturday night, I was at a hit and run collision when this woman, in her early twenties, drove up and told me the suspect vehicle belonged to her father. The young woman, who I’ll Kate, told me someone called her mother to let her know her husband was involved in a collision and where the vehicle was.

While we were talking, her mother’s cell phone rang. It was the person who had originally called about her father. She handed me the phone and said, “You talk to him.”

A man told me he was with the driver from the collision at a nearby shopping center. I hung up and told Kate where her dad was. She asked, “Can I go with you?” I told her she would have to drive her car instead.

She knew which shopping center I was talking about and she pulled into the parking lot just ahead of me. Her brother, who was about 13 or 14 years old, jumped out of the vehicle and ran to his father. The boy was about my son’s height and age, with a similar build.

The son was crying hysterically as he wrapped both arms around his father. He held on to him like he didn’t want to let go because the police were going to take his father away. The boy’s display of emotions hit me like the sound of a door slamming in a quiet library. A pain shot through my heart as I thought of my son, knowing how much he loved me, just like this boy loved his father too. There wasn’t we could do here. The man had collided into a tree and a parked car. We had a job to do.

I then looked over to a little girl, who was about 7 years old. She was standing a few feet behind her brother and she was crying too. Kate was next to her with a different look on her face. It was a look of sadness, pain and disappointment, all mixed together. She seemed mad, but not at us. She was mad at her father. That’s when she said, “He’s done this before.”

“He’s been in a DUI crash before?”

“Yes, you can look it up. You’ll see.”

Kate wanted to know what was going to happen and stayed in the parking lot with her mom and siblings.

When I spoke to the driver, I was amazed how drunk he was. His was a mess. This wasn’t a guy who had one too many. This was a guy who had twenty too many. Thank goodness there was only one collision.

After I interviewed him, I spoke to some officers, who were at the scene of the crash. It turned out the driver had crashed in front of his sister’s apartment. Officers spoke to his sister and she told them her brother was always drunk.

Later that night I ran his driving record and found the DUI conviction Kate was talking about. It was a felony DUI conviction from almost ten years ago. That would’ve put Kate between 10 or 12 years old at the time. Now I knew what that look was on her face.

It was a look of sadness, pain and disappointment that was a combination of what happened tonight and what she went through as a child. It was also a look of a person, who was used to seeing her father this way. It was tragic.

I cleared the call and moved on, but I couldn’t shake the image of the son hanging onto his father while he cried.

The next day started my days off. I told my family about the call and how it affected me. I also told them other stories from the night before. We laughed at some of the crazy things people do.

Life was back to normal for me with my family. What most people take for granted, I see as a blessing because of what I experience at work.

On Monday I barbecued and we had dinner as a family. As I sat there, I thought back to that kid hugging his father. What a different world my kids live in compared to that kid. Later that night, my son and I stayed up late watching Netflix. Life was good.

There’s one thing about police work. This job always has a way of reminding you how good you have it. It’s important never to forget that.

“You’re Making Me Sound Irresponsible”

Posted on May 24, 2015 by Badge415

On Halloween night in 2014, three girls were killed in a hit and run crash while trick or treating in Santa Ana, CA. Two of the girls were twins. I remember hearing the news on my way to work that night. I actually closed my eyes and shook my head when I heard about the twins. How awful for a family to lose two daughters in one crash. It gave me an ache inside that three kids were killed about the same time I was trick or treating with my kids.

As a father I couldn’t imagine what the families were going through. As a collision investigator I was glad I wasn’t the one who had to handle that call.

A few days later my partner sent me a picture from a news story about the suspect being arrested for the Santa Ana hit and run.

The person in the photo was Jaquinn Bell. I knew who he was because I met him in August of that same year. He had crashed while DUI in my city with his two kids in the car.

During our conversation that night he denied crashing. He also told me he parked his car, but didn’t know where it was. I repeated back to him some of the things he said because he sounded silly. At one point he said, “You’re making me sound irresponsible.” Nope. He was doing that all by himself.

On the night we met him he tried hiding between two houses, but was seen by witnesses and officers. He was actually on the phone with his dad at the time as he told his kids to get down when the officers arrived. He showed everyone how irresponsible he really was that night. He also showed it again on October 31st.

The other day he was sentenced to 15 years in prison for the collision in Santa Ana. The time he’ll spend in prison won’t bring back those girls, but at least he won’t be able to hurt anyone else for a long time. That’s the only positive thing from this story.

In closing, I have one thing to say to you Mr. Bell.

I hope you see those bodies when you close your eyes at night. I also hope it haunts you for the rest of your life. You had no right to take those girls away from their parents.

Just Call Her Poopy Pants

Posted on May 18, 2015 by Badge415

There’s one thing for sure about this job. We see people at their worst. At their lowest of lows. At rock bottom. We see them at their Poopy Pants worst.

Some of this is self-inflicted. Some of it is just bad luck. The self-inflicted stuff is where the comedy of this profession comes out. It’s where some of the best stories come from. It’s where you stand there and say, “I can’t believe I just saw that.” Last Friday night will go down in history as one of the most unusual stories from a collision scene I have ever witnessed.

An injury traffic collision went out at about 2:15AM involving a vehicle that struck a pole. This is a pretty typical call for that time of the night so I didn’t think anything of it.

I drove down the street and saw a pole imbedded into the front of a car. An ambulance just arrived and there was another patrol car there. I got out of my car and walked up to an officer. He pointed to the crashed car and said, “She’s taking a dump on the sidewalk.”

Now, that’s not something you hear every day.

I looked over to the car and saw the passenger door open with a woman squatting down on the edge of the vehicle next to the seat. She was partially blocked by ambulance personnel.

I walked up and saw her pajama pants pulled down to her knees and there was a pile of you know what right underneath her. There was a strong odor of a person who had been drinking and who had just left a “number two” on the sidewalk. I have seen many people pee and vomit themselves while drunk, but this took it to an entirely new level.

Did I mention she was six months pregnant and unlicensed?

You just can’t make this stuff up.

When the tow truck driver arrived I pointed out the mess because I didn’t want him to step in it. The tow driver looked at it and said he didn’t want poop on the bed of his truck. I found it funny he was worried about that. Never mind all of the cars that have leaked hazardous fluids onto his flatbed tow truck in the past? Now he was worried about a little number two.

The tow truck driver then did his best to maneuver the front of the vehicle around the pile of poop with the skill of an artist painting a masterpiece. Instead of paint and brushes, he tugged and pulled with the cable and used a shim under one of the tires as the vehicle turned. Once the right front tire cleared the pile he completed the job and I left.

As I drove away I couldn’t help laughing and thinking how this woman was SOL (shit out of luck). I also remembered what a shitty job this was. And most of all, you also can’t make this shit up (I couldn’t resist).

Is your teen abusing medications to get high?

Posted on May 14, 2015 by Badge415

Last week I was a witness to the beginning of another tragic story. I was left shaking my head and wondering where this teenager went wrong, or more importantly, where his parents went wrong.

On Saturday night I was dispatched to a traffic collision involving three vehicles. The call information mentioned that one of the drivers was possibly DUI. When I arrived, I saw an officer walking a male from the street to the sidewalk. From a distance I estimated his age to be about 14 years old. I just assumed he was a passenger from one of the vehicles.

I got out of my car and walked over to where they were. That’s when I found out this kid was actually 16 years old and he was the suspected drunk driver.

He rear ended one vehicle and then crashed into another when he tried to back up. He appeared under the influence and was eventually arrested for DUI. Of course, he didn’t have a driver’s license either.

The driver was under the influence of a dissociative anesthetic. Most people don’t even know what that is. A dissociative anesthetic includes PCP, ketamine and Dextromethorphan (DXM). DXM is the active ingredient in cough medicines. It’s also abused because it’s easily accessible.

This kid had been drinking cough medicine and also had four Xanax pills in his pocket from his mother’s prescription. Talk about a train wreck.

About an hour later I did a record check on his name and discovered he was arrested for DUI three months ago. Could his story get any worse?

I walked by a room where he was sitting and asked him what his blood alcohol was when he was arrested. The kid told me .20%.

I shouldn’t be shocked anymore, but every once in a while it still happens. I told him he was on the road to being a statistic and I warned him of the dangerous path he was heading down. He said he understood and seemed to listen to me.

Did I get through to him? Probably not, but at least I tried.

I leave you with this final thought if you’re a parent of a teen. You might want to watch the cough medicine bottle or other prescriptions in your medicine cabinet. You could be running low and didn’t know it.

Most people think it won’t happen to them, but there’s a chance it could. Don’t end up like some of the people we deal with. They don’t know there’s a problem until it’s too late.

The 15 year old drunk driver

Posted on April 20, 2015 by Badge415

I set a new record last week.

But this isn’t a record that you would want. It’s another one of those stories where I say to myself, “Just when I thought I’d seen it all….”

It’s not every night someone steals a water truck from a construction site. I’m not even sure why someone would do that. Wouldn’t it be easier to steal a regular car that didn’t stick out like a sore thumb?

One this is for sure. No one ever said bad guys were smart.

It all started when an anonymous person called the police on Wednesday night to report a construction truck driving around in the park at 12:30AM. The caller heard a loud noise and didn’t know if anything was hit.

When the officers arrived in the area they saw a water truck swerving as it went down the road just a few hundred yards from the park. Within a few seconds the water truck crashed and the occupants ran.

After they were taken into custody a sergeant asked for a traffic unit. He said there were “a couple” of parked cars that were hit. When he said “a couple” I assumed it was two cars. That’s no big deal since it happens all the time.

When I arrived, I was surprised to see a water truck in the front yard at the corner. There were damaged and disabled cars everywhere for a grand total of eight, including the water truck.

This definitely wasn’t something you see every day.

The first victim vehicle was a Prius. Now, try to imagine what a large water truck can do to a Prius when it’s being driven by a 15 year old drunk driver. Let’s just say the Prius got treated like the redheaded stepchild who got stuffed into his locker by a bunch of high school football players.

The Prius was broadsided by the water truck and then crashed into the car that was parked in front of it. This spun the Prius around and forced it onto the sidewalk where it became a giant paper weight. Two more parked cars were hit on the street after that.

After treating the Prius like a dirty girlfriend, the water truck ended up in the front yard of a house and crashed into three cars in the driveway.

The three cars in the driveway belonged to one family and had extensive damage. Two of those cars had damage to both sides after being sandwiched together from the impact.

There were a grand total of 7 points of impact in this scene of destruction.

Then the officers told me there was another collision scene located at the baseball field where the original call went out. What the heck?

I had never taken a traffic collision at a baseball field before. So, why not add that to my list of firsts.

It turned out our gang member suspect, who is on probation, was doing donuts in the infield at the park. After that he drove behind the backstop and crashed into the dugout on the first base side, which was now a twisted mess of metal.

This 15 year old has the honor of being the youngest DUI driver I have ever seen. I’m sure there are others who have arrested younger DUI drivers, but this was my new record.

At the scene, the suspect showed no remorse. Not one ounce of regret for the damage he caused or the lives he put in danger by driving that truck while drunk. He was just a mean drunk who yelled at the cops from the backseat of the patrol car and wouldn’t even tell us his name. He just didn’t care.

This was just another example of the people out there who don’t care about the rules or laws and have no regard for the rest of us normal people, who work hard for what we have.

Even the little league baseball players are going to be affected because their field has no dugout now.

What a dick.