It always cracks me up when someone tries to report their car stolen after the vehicle was already involved in a hit and run. It’s funny because they think they’re the most original person in the world by coming up with this idea. It’s also funny because their story is never as good they thought it was going to be.

This was the case two weeks ago when a person thought they were smarter than they really were. This particular guy prepared his story about as well as a midget playing in an NBA basketball game. It was just plain awkward and didn’t work out so well.

He called to report his car stolen about an hour after the collision occurred. He claimed he went to the grocery store to buy lottery scratchers and left his keys in the car. When he came out the car was gone.

I’m sure there are plenty of people who buy lottery scratchers at the grocery store, but I bet their car wasn’t “stolen” and then involved in a crash.

After I heard the lottery ticket excuse I asked, “Where are the lottery tickets you bought?” This guy drove miles out of his way for a special lottery ticket trip. He had to have the tickets on him, right?

He was surprised by the question and then said he didn’t buy them because the line was too long. How dumb is that? I guess he didn’t think that far ahead.

When have your ever seen a long line for scratchers? It wasn’t like he was buying a Power Ball lottery ticket when the jackpot was over a billion dollars. It was just a scratcher.

The story fell apart even more after an officer interviewed two women the guy knew. They were honest and had nothing to hide. Their story showed he was a liar.

After speaking with the women, his story looked like Swiss cheese because there were so many holes in it.  In the end, I told him we weren’t taking a stolen vehicle report.

It was a lot of work, but the victim of the crash and the insurance company deserved a complete investigation. More importantly, the guy needed to know his lies didn’t fool us.

Nice try buddy, but you can’t Jedi Mind Trick a Jedi Master.