You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

I should have a frequent customer card for people. I could punch it every time I run into someone. Actually, every time someone runs into them.

Tonight I was at a crash involving two cars and a person. The two cars were parked facing the same way, which were next to each other. There was a guy named David in the driver seat of his car with his door open.

He was under the dashboard trying to change a fuse with his cell phone as a flashlight. His feet were outside the car.

While he was under the dashboard he heard the vehicle on his left start up. He tried to close his door, but he was too late.

The vehicle next to him sideswiped the door and ran over his foot. It’s pretty safe to say I have never taken a crash like that before, but that’s not even the best part of the story.

While I was speaking with David he told me I had taken a report for him before. I asked him what happened.

“It was a hit and run,” he said.
“Were you the good guy or the bad guy?”
“The bad guy.”
“Did I arrest you?”
“For what?”
“For hit and run and for lying to you.”
“Oh, what a small world,” I said. “So, how’s it going?”
“Good. I paid the fine. I’m on probation now.”

This isn’t the first time this type of conversation has happened to me. After all these years it’s still funny to run into past customers. I later looked up the report and found the incident.

The crash happened in December of 2012. He crashed into a median while exiting the freeway. He was unlicensed and sober. Basically, a very easy report except…….

David committed a hit and run on the freeway. He was trying to get away from the victim at the time. Unfortunately for him he was going too fast and crashed. He had the bright idea to report the car stolen afterward.

The cuts to his forehead and hands didn’t help his story either.

After separating David and his passengers I was able to figure out he was lying. Despite all of this, David went to jail still saying he wasn’t driving and his car was stolen.

At least he finally admitted to driving two years later. Better late than never.

Sometimes it’s a small world in this job. You never know when a past customer is going to get run over.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

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