What The Heck?

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Have you ever wondered what your real name was? Probably not.

Recently, I was at a collision involving a driver who did not have a license. He gave the officers one name, but his girlfriend gave them another. The officers asked that I use my Bluecheck fingerprint device to try and confirm his name. I call this my Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire detector.

I’m going to change his name(s) to protect the guilty.

“What’s your name?” I asked.
“Frank Jones,” he replied.
“Does your girlfriend know you by a different name?”
“Yes, she knows me as Tom Smith.”
“Is that your stage name?” I asked.
“No, it’s my work name.”
“Let me get this right. Your girlfriend thinks you have a different name?”
“Yes.”
“How long have you been dating her?”
“Two years. She also has a baby.”
“Is the baby yours? I asked.
“No, but he has my name.”
“Which name?
“Smith,” he said.
This was getting better by the second.“Wait, the baby has your fake last name?”
“Yes.”

The driver went on to explain that his girlfriend was pregnant when he met her. When the child was born, he let the baby have his fake last name for the birth certificate. I asked Frank/Tom why he did that. Frank/Tom explained he needed a dependent so he could get money back on his taxes at the end of the year.

Just when I thought I had heard everything……

You can’t make this stuff up.

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